» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

Recent Indian Experience
I was recently in India with work and was taken out to lunch by one guy to quite a reasonable restaurant.

However, towards the end of the meal, the stomach cramps hit. I dashed into the gents, and of course this being India, there is no toilet paper in the loo. Fortunatly, there is a paper towel dispensor by the sink, so I pulled out a wad of paper towels, then dashed back into the cubical, and let rip.....

It was nasty.

After mopping up my behind with the towels, wI dumped them down the loo, and hit the flush button.

Nothing happened.

OK, I thought, option 2. There was a sort of shower on a hose attachment, that is normally used to wash your bum - I tired that. The most pathetic dribble of water came out of the end. It had no hope of dislodging the brown mess of poo and paper in the pan.

Basically, I had to leave the loo, explain to my host that we had to leave, get and pay the bill, then dash outside before anyone else went into that bog, to find it stuffed with shit and paper towels.

I did leave a big tip though.

I am going back to India next week, I hope I don't get taken to the same restaurant.
(Wed 2nd Apr 2008, 15:44, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

Cheddar Gorge
I was once in a moderately unsuccessful band. Our moment in the sun came when we were invited to be the opening act for the Michael Jackson experience, an event taking place in Exeter City FC stadium. Anyway, we had to drive from Hatfield to Exeter, passing signs for the famous (in the UK) “Cheddar Gorge” on the M5. Pointing out the sign, we manage to convince our 22 year old singer that "this is where all Cheddar Cheese was mined". “Where did you think it came from?” we laughed at him, "from a cow?". He believed cheese was mined at Cheddar Gorge for about a week. He also picked up some very inferior porn when sent him procure some from a service station.
(Wed 24th Mar 2010, 20:41, More)