b3ta.com user kfk
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I am the World's only Wasp Whisperer. It might look like terrified flailing about, but I am actually communicating with the stripey little cunts.

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Best answers to questions:

» Mums

My mum said...
"I saw a sign today, it said 'Car Park - Way Out'; but it was just a normal car park."

She could do stand-up, my mum.
(Sat 13th Feb 2010, 22:19, More)

» Pointless Experiments

I tried being blind once:
Aged approx 10, and full of the empathy which only a pre-teen can posess. To negate the effects of accidentally opening my eyes, I tied a sock around my head. I spent, I think, about 4 hours as a blind boy.

Conclusion of Experiment: Being blind is rubbish.
(Sat 26th Jul 2008, 0:48, More)

» That's me on TV!

Hollyoaks Spot of Bother
My mate and me were extras on hollyoaks a few years back (someone asked us if we'd like to do it, and we said yes). In one scene they asked us to walk down the street towards where the real actors were, miming a conversation. We thought it would look more realistic if we whispered to each other, so at the shout of 'action' we set off. Our whispered conversation concerned, as far as I can remember, which one of the actresses we would like to do up the arse. We got about halfway down the street, past gnosh and almost to the post office(?), when the director instructed us all to "cut and reset", adding "And can you 2 guys just whisper to each other, we're picking you up on the mics". Whoops. We were not asked back.

We were also extras on corrie but our scene got cut. My mam was dead disappointed.
(Sat 13th Jun 2009, 0:58, More)