» I'm going to Hell...

In my defense, the bibles were better off in their new sections of the bookstore.
Indigo is Canada's most prominent bookstore chain, akin to stateside purveyors such as Barnes and Noble, selling everything from political treatises to new-age acupuncture schlock. The bookstore has always represented - at least to me - the democratic marketplace of ideas, where thoughts and arguments rise and fall on their merits. These arguments were very well classified by shelf: politics, business, inspirational stories, and the rest. But something was out of place, that my friends and I couldn't help but correct. The bibles, which span so many topics in the course of their thousands of pages, were relegated to a shelf of their own, separate from all the composite sub-topics that comprise their entirety.

Whether out of civic responsibility, or out of the resolute boredom of university students with nothing but time to kill during the summer, we took it upon ourselves to rectify this error. Surely it was an error.

To make a long story short, bibles that once filled a row found their respective ways to the shelves of such relevant topics as Fiction, Humour, Sexuality, Erotica, Cuisine, Parenting, Mental Disorder, Parapsychology and the Occult. In the bibles' place, the Bibles and Bible Studies section now holds one solitary copy of Sam Harris's treatise, Letter to a Christian Nation.

The whole thing ended up on PZ Myers' "Pharyngula" blog, as well as on the blog of one of the bookstore employees who had to clean my mess up

Basically; If there's a hell, I'll see you all there. BYOB.


(Wed 17th Dec 2008, 22:33, More)

» Neighbours

Mood Music
Back in the summer of last year, I was renting a house near Carleton U with a few other students in Ottawa. A good friend of mine was the only renter of the house next door to stay over the summer, so we basically had an open-door policy in terms of drinking, smoking up, using the bathroom, and barbequeing.

I'll call my friend and neighbour "Jared Fenderson."

One day I'm getting ready for a date with this cute little redhead, and Jared is giving me a little bit of a pep-talk.

"She's way out of your league."
"Her last boyfriend was a linebacker."
"You haven't got a chance with her"

With my masculinity and... erm... honour on the line, we proceeded to wager money on the fact that I could bed her that night, stacked 2:1 odds against.


...Fast forward to the end of the evening, and I've got her back at my place. Things start to get heavy, and all of a sudden we hear cluttering noises outside my door, followed by a top-volume playing by the backstreet boys:

"IS THIS THE MEANING.... OF BEEEEEEEEEEEEEING LONELY"

Maybe it was N'Sync, I have no clue. He has set up hit massive stereo system outside of my room after we went into it. She thought it was funny, but wasn't interested in going at it with an audience and a boy-band soundtrack.

I lost $50 on the bet.

The stereo act was subsequently reciprocated back and forth a several times until a truce was called.
(Sun 4th Oct 2009, 21:44, More)

» My most treasured possession

You've got to be joking me.
Fire extinguisher. Twunts.
(Mon 12th May 2008, 8:23, More)

» Best Films Ever

Mr Smith goes to Washington
NO SIR I WILL NOT YIELD!
(Sun 20th Jul 2008, 17:47, More)

» Presents

Chinese food
and bourbon. We're Jews.


Actually, though, I can't stand spending stretches of time with family; Jew-Christmas is taking place in Toronto's Chinatown with my friends.

And dear Santa: If the whole "Jewish" thing turns out to be wrong, and I'm destined to burn in hellfire, I'd appreciate a pre-emptive consolation of more bourbon. We might run out.
(Thu 3rd Dec 2009, 0:12, More)