» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Honest your honour, I didn't know...
I was 28, it was New Year's Eve, it was Edinburgh. Alcohol was consumed, fit wee lass who laughed at my bad jokes in some club comes home with me. A few more more drinks, several condoms are used she goes to the loo wearing dressing gown. By this time the low winter sun is starting to come up. She returns and drops said gown to floor. If any of you are familiar with the works of 'erotic photographer' David Hamilton, imagine one of his 'models'. (If you're not familiar, Google him, but not at work.) She had not a blemish on her and was clearly 'under-developed'. As I started to focus a little, aided by by the light I asked a question I should have asked in the club,
"Er, how old are you."
She visibly panics. "Why?"
Me, "just wondered.'
Long pause as she wonders what she can get away with.
"17?" she finally says.
"Are you sure" says I.
And then her killer line: "Don't worry, I wont tell anyone." Hmmm, underage then.
Naturally I did what any red-blooded male in my position would. I fucked her twice more and sent her home. Never saw her again.
(Sun 7th Dec 2008, 19:45, More)

» Accidental innuendo

Ah, the aged...
Yonks ago while a student I propped up my rent by working in a small independent video rental boutique. One day a batty old crone came in and asked if we had John Wayne's Jism. My colleague almost passed out with laughter and disappeared round the back leaving me to enquire gently as to whether that really was the title and someone wasn't having a laugh at Grannie's expense. Nope, she was adamant, John Wayne's Jism it was. Years later, Channel 5 afternoon film, 'Chisolm' starring you know who...
(Fri 13th Jun 2008, 12:10, More)