b3ta.com user Robotnik
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» Crappy relationships

Manic nudity
My first try at this, and not a native English speaker, so please use lube..

This is about my second girlfriend. I started dating late, and i got into a relationship with this 18 year old when i was 20. The relationship was crappy, and i won't deny my own part in it.I was not the hard hitting robotnik at the time that i am now. I had a hard time back then, i didn't know what to do with my life, didn't have a job, and i was having frequent anxiety attacks. (But i didn't act out, or took drugs or anything, and i was a fairly calm and normal person.) I was vulnerable and needed someone entirely different than the person i ended up with,

She was a little blond bombshell and not as bat shit insane as other women mentioned in this thread, but she was still a bit on the manic and flamboyant side. Manic as in "involving lots of nudity". This included:

A lot of skinny dipping
Taking all her clothes off in a public park.
Dancing naked on the roof terrace of her parents house in full view of her neighbours
Leading a demonstration at a festival - naked of course - for uni-sex bathing facilities
Walking down a busy foothpath in nothing than sneakers

It was horrible, fascinating and boner inducing at the same time.to witness all this (although the sex never were that good).

She was also into far left politics, and wanted me to go with her to an illegal demonstration against a big construction site (illegal as in cut down a fence and enter said area). "But aren't we going to get, like, arrested by the police"? I objected. "No." She said, "They do it all the time, and the police always give you the opportunity of leaving the area first. We are going to be fine. You want to see my tits?" And off we went. But of course, the police took this exact opportunity to state an example and arrest all the 3-400 demonstrants, handcuff them and put them into cells. So there i was. Eventually i was released as the last person at 3 in the morning and was later convicted of illegal trespassing with all the other demonstrants, and had to pay a fine. This was about 20 years ago, but i am sure there is still some kind of record of me in some hidden secret governmental data base somewhere.

A few months later she met some random guy at a party and decided to have sex with him, and then to break up with me, stating that she hoped we still could be friends. And promptly inviting me to a lot of partys where they both were present. And i found a note with his and my name on it, comparing us to each other.

The worst thing was when i sweet talked her to have sex with me on a public beach between two boats with me a year later, as revenge to the other guy, because she was still with him at that time. I will regret that for the rest of my life, and it still makes me feel sick today.

Okay, actually the worst thing was that she escaped police custody and never had to pay the fine. Apologies for length. Should i edit?
(Tue 26th Oct 2010, 21:08, More)

» Sporting Woe

Men are doomed
I attended boxing for 3-4 years, just for the exercise, i was never in a proper boxing match. I only sparred, but sometimes with proper licensed amateur boxers.

Including female ones.

And they were the worst. They were smaller and a lot faster. Weight matters in boxing, but they compensated for it with sheer dedication and speed. Also quite a few of the studied to become doctors, and even one of them to become a priest. The absolute highlight was when i got my nose smashed in by one of them because i "didn't move my head away fast enough" as the coach (in boxing you are not using faggot words like "Sensei") berated me. Yes, essentially i was beaten up by a girl!

I tell you, men already lost.
(Fri 20th Apr 2012, 10:39, More)

» Sporting Woe

Loosing the race
Back when i was attending boxing, i also did a lot of running. (I was quite in shape, as opposed to the meat ball i am now.) But i was getting cocky and decided to join a 12 km run, when destiny decided to teach me a lesson. Everything went fine, until people started to overtake me. A lot of them. Including:

A dad with his baby jogger

A 70+ years old dude

2x 10 year olds (while they were talking with each other)

A dwarf

Countless women of all ages.

I was quite in shape, but a very slow runner..
(Mon 23rd Apr 2012, 10:57, More)

» Churches, temples and holy places

Heretic godfather
Due to my dirty hippie upbringing I never had much to do with christianity. I mean it’s fine if you do, I just don’t give a damn. My wife calls herself a christian, but is not at all missionary (except at night time, hehehe, but I digress).

When my niece was born, I was asked by my brother if I would like to be godfather, and of course I would. That was fine, even if I am not a Christian myself, i am ready to give her a Christian upbringing in case of my brothers death, according to his wishes (which is what being a godfather is all about).

But then I made the mistake of being honest when asked by the priest If I was baptized, which I am not. Therefore godfather was a no go (which is ironic, because any bible-burning child stomping satanist could be godfather as long as he or she was baptized as a child. I was very bitter, I even wrote the Bishop, and shook my fist to the sky, but to no avail. I should probably feel lucky just to be allowed to stand next to the font at the ceremony, being a heretic and all.

But then my son was born. And my wife wanted him baptized (Sure honey, but I get to choose the colour of the kitchen cupboards!). And there was my non-baptised brother, who is probably a better Christian than many priests out there. So I asked him if he was prepared to be godfather, and to lie to the priest about him being a heretic and all. He was, so I kind of smuggled a non-christian into being a godfather to my son by have him lie to a priest.

And I still think Jesus would have done the same damn thing.
(Thu 8th Sep 2011, 7:29, More)

» The Police II

Policeman visiting preschoolers.
This was a faint memory untill i read all these police stories:

*Flashback in earthy hipstamatic colours*

When i was in preschool (Denmark, 1978) we got a visit from a policeman one day. He talked a lot about how to behave in traffic, always looking after cars, bla, bla. But in my mind the really interesting thing about him was his gun.

Probably because my parents were dirty hippies. Me and my brother weren't allowed any "war toys" at all.

So, of course i asked the the policeman if i could see his gun. Probably much to the dismay of my batik-clad teacher. And he promptly took it out, unloaded it, and gave it to me (i remember it to be very heavy), and told me to pass it around to the whole class. Which i of course did. Great fun!

"So what did you do at school today, son"?
(Wed 11th May 2011, 8:37, More)
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