b3ta.com user Peapod
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I started lurking in 2004, unlurked for a bit, peaked when I got top answer once on QOTW

I'm rather small, and apparently I talk very quietly. I come across as a bit innocent, but don’t be fooled

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Best answers to questions:

» Ginger

For obvious reasons, I call my pet chickens the Ginger Ladies.
When I go out to feed them, I sing:
"All ma ginger ladies, all ma ginger ladies
If you like it then you shoulda laid an egg on it, if you like it then you shoulda laid an egg on it, buk buk burrk buk buk burrk buk be-buk burrk buk buk burrk..."
Just seems to fit.
(Sat 27th Feb 2010, 17:37, More)

» The Dark

Night Terrors
I get night terrors quite often - a semi-awake state in which I think a person, sometimes a bird, or sometimes creepy crawlies are in my room whilst I'm asleep. The delusion can last about 30 seconds before I realise that they're not real and go back to sleep.
I've had them for a while now and they don't really bother me, but to other people, it can come as a bit of a surprise when I suddenly announce at 2am that there's a snake trying to come through the door etc. Here are a few prime examples:

A few nights ago:
"Well I never. What a stupid bird"
There was no bird. What a stupid me.

To my twin sister in the bunk bed above:
"It's falling in on me! IT'S FALLING IN! I'm holding it up!" said whilst pushing up on the mattress above me
Sister: "The only thing *you're* holding up is my good night's sleep"

After revising too hard for my chemistry A-level:
"Argh! A benzene-derived hydrocarbon! IT'S ON THE CURTAINS!"

To the boy I happened to be sharing a bed with:
*DRAMATIC GASP* *sit bolt upright, stare at boy* *pause* *realise where I am* *go back to sleep*
Fortunately he was asleep too so no harm done.

In hospital, staring intently at my pillow:
"It didn't have a pattern before!"
(Sat 25th Jul 2009, 19:11, More)

» Family codes and rituals

Mogus Time
At around 11pm each night, it is Mogus Time.

Our cat, Tessa, aka 'The Mogus' is ceremonially removed from her basket/cupboard/one of the bins that she thinks is cosy, and put outside for the night.

The high priest of this ritual is my Dad, who says somthing like "Up and down the country, Mummies and Daddies are saying to their Moguses: It's Mogus time". Sometimes he will also do the voice of Tessa, saying things like "Oh, can't I stay inside?" or "But Daddy, it's cold and wet!" and if I'm in the room, he'll bring her over to me and say, in Tessa's voice, "Night, you Peep!"

The Mogus is then put outside, and the door is locked. We have no cat-flap, so if she wants to come in, she has to scrabble on the window until someone notices and lets her inside.

One night, she managed to evade Mogus Time entirely by hiding under the sofa (I say 'sofa', it was more like a park bench with some cushions on it). When Dad was relating this anecdote, he said "And then Tessa gave me a look as if to say: "Look Daddy! I stayed in all night!""
This was swiftly followed by an a.m. Mogus Time.
(Sun 23rd Nov 2008, 14:52, More)

» Eccentrics

My family and other animals
When meeting up with each other, we use the 'Universal Greeting' (initially developed so that I could recognise family members from a distance without wearing glasses). This involves lifting both arms and one leg to an angle of about 30 degrees and lowering them again.

Don't ask me why we call it the Universal Greeting when only we use it.

We call our Mum 'The Mothership', and hence we the children are all 'pods' (Peapod, Charpod, Spudpod). If any of us need a hug, my mother will say "Ahhh, dock with Mothership".

The Mothership, when ranting/exasperated, will replace most words in a sentence with a sort of mumble and just go for the important ones e.g. "Cat! mnmnmnmn porridge! mnmnmnm curtains!"

My brother is and always has been mad about railways. For his eleventh birthday, what did he ask for? A 6' by 4' board to put his model railway on. Last Christmas (he was 16) I bought him some ear defenders and he was delighted with them. He's now an apprentice railway engineer.
I phoned up my family last week to see how they were and I could hear in the background a sort of low 'muuuuuuuuh' sound. Mothership just said 'Oh, the Boy is just pretending to be a foghorn." In my household, this is perfectly normal.

My sister also has a habit of flapping her arms up and down if she's excited or stressed. If sufficiently agitated, she may also spin 360 degrees on one leg.

My Dad talks to himself when he's in the bathroom, a habit which I've also picked up. He invented latin-sounding names for our cat and dog (besides their actual names). We call the cat 'Mogus' and the dog 'Dogus'. Mogus enjoys curling up and sleeping wherever she can. Favourite places have included 1)The top of the shredder 2) The recycling box 3) The cupboard where we keep the shoe polish (current favourite).

I think it's our house that breeds eccentricity, since it's rather eccentric itself. For example, none, and I mean none, of the doors fit their doorframes. There is a cavity in a supporting wall where the fridge is which is causing the kitchen wall to sag worryingly.
We also strongly suspect that removing wallpaper from anywhere in the building would cause the house to collapse.
(Tue 4th Nov 2008, 23:10, More)

» Doctors, Nurses, Dentists and Hospitals

*Slight* Pearost, but better
About 18 months ago, an underweight 21-year-old Peapod arrived in hospital with chest pains. I had no idea what was really wrong, I thought I might have been having a heart attack and was wondering if my liking for cheese had finally got the better of me and had blocked an artery. Either that or pregnant, I wasn't sure.
I was wheeled into the ward and a male nurse took some blood. A few hours later a face peered round the curtain.
"Have you been eating too many bananas? It could have been caused by too many bananas" This was the doctor's first diagnosis.
Well, I couldn't say that I had. One banana in three weeks, that's not too many is it?
She tried again "Well you might have a brain tumour"
Bananas to brain tumour in three seconds.
She then left, and I went to sleep thinking I had a sodding brain tumour.
Next day I get stared at like I'm in a zoo whilst I'm trying to wash my face (I'm sure outside they were saying "we've got one, shhh, it's in there!") and again they check that I haven't had too many bananas.
Finally I get seen by two endocrinology consultants and they don't mention bananas, it wasn't a tumour, it was my adrenals I have Addison's disease. TEXTBOOK case. They wanted to know how I'd kept going; Addison's is fatal if untreated.
"Your sodium levels are very low, have you been craving salty foods?"
By God yes, I'd been eating Doritos like there was no tomorrow. Apparently, eating so many crisps had saved my life, so the doctor said, keeping my blood pressure just high enough for me to function and get through my 3rd year of uni.
I got put on steroid replacement therapy and pinged back into life in no time. Just before being discharged I was again told to avoid eating too many bananas (dangerous thing, a banana) and wished well. Im doing just fine now. I love the NHS.
and so to recap, crisps = good, banana = bad
(Mon 15th Mar 2010, 21:51, More)
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