» Will you go out with me?

I hung out with
this girl I liked for months and months. Finally I asked her out. She politely refused, telling me she thinks she might me a lesbian. Bugger, thinks I. I'm still not sure whether that's better or worse than another guy... I now spend my days on the tube cutting myself and masturbating.
(Thu 28th Aug 2008, 22:09, More)

» Starting something you couldn't finish

It's not a funny or clever story but...
...back in about 2004 I started a beast of a jigsaw puzzle. 1500 pieces of lingering hatred and horror. The puzzle is a picture of a big pile of dice. Innocent enough little black and white cubes, except they all look exactly the same. There's no way to distinguish part of 1 dice from part of any of the other million little fuckers.

6 years later I've done the outside through trial and error, and about 8 pieces in the bottom left corner, while the living room dining table is still out of bounds.
(Tue 29th Jun 2010, 14:44, More)

» Asking people out

I'd just like to add...
..the fact that regular masturbation removes the desire for, and thus the embarrassing failure relating to, chatting people up.
(Tue 15th Dec 2009, 18:55, More)

» Pointless Experiments

Staplers are evil when one is intoxicated.
At a party a couple of weeks ago, I and several of my friends got drunk. Very drunk. Then we stumbled upon (literally) a stapler in the kitchen of the friend whose party it was. Some twunt thought it would be a great idea if we all experimented as to how many staples we could put through our scrotums before bottling out.

Conclusion : Don't do it. Really. Don't. Someone even accidentally stapled himself to the sideboard and had to rip it out. So yeah...
(Tue 29th Jul 2008, 13:44, More)