» Phobias

Eating seafood.
Tis a strange one, I quite like fishing the little buggers out of the depth's but for the love of god himself, try and make me eat anyform of seafood and I will kill you dead.

Once upon a time in my teen's I was locked away in my bedroom playing Monkey Island II (Guybrush, my lord) when all of a sudden my nostril's flaired! 'What is that delicious smell' I thought and with my stomach rumbling I knew I must go downstairs to investigate. Quicker than a brazilian on an escalator, I was in the kitchen and upon the stove was a pan full of soup that looked and smelled like heaven itself so with the ladel I had to taste it, I just had to and it was the most lovliest tasty thing ever. So much so, I filled a massive bowl with it and headed to the living room to praise the old man on his cooking.

Stood in the doorway with a mouthfull of the stuff 'Father' I declared 'this is the best stuff I've ever tasted, what the hell is it?' questioned me in my northern tone. Whilst slurping away at the bowl of murky greatness my old man, bless the cunt replies 'prawn soup'!

Instantly, I spewed the contents all over the carpet and whilst turning purple with retching I managed to gasp 'Father you bastard' before running to the bathroom, climbing in the shower and scrubbing myself clean of the fishyness.

I know my fishyphobia is irrational but I don't care but my actions that day have lead to my family reguarly trying to trick me into eating seafood, so much so that I am now a frail 25 year old man who is so paranoid that all food gets checked and double checked!

Length? Very.

Don't get me started on mayo or other white sauces!
(Tue 15th Apr 2008, 14:38, More)