b3ta.com user dampwookie
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» Housemates

Changing rooms...
We redecorated a housemates room with pages from porn mags. Walls, floor, even stuck them to the ceiling. We then filled his bed, wardrobe, drawers and anywhere else we could find... this was a lot of porn! Not an inch of wall was un-porned!
We finished it with a sign on his door saying "Dr Dirt, master of filth" He was finding porn for weeks... lucky bastard!
Oh, wait, that makes me the bad housemate!!!
(Mon 2nd Mar 2009, 16:24, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Me lucky boy...
Whilst on holiday in weymouth some years ago with a friend and his family...
We were both 16 but his parents let us out on the piss as we were on holiday.
Ended up in a club and chatted up what turned out to be a 26 year old nurse!!! SCORE! I lied, telling her that I was 21 and at uni doing engineering, She even said "I don't usually go for younger men" before putting out... How little she knew!
(Sun 7th Dec 2008, 9:24, More)

» Eccentrics

Also - a classic eccentric...
While working part time at currys while in uni, I served a very well spoken (think Cholmondly-Walker & Greyson$,) old suited gent who was after a B&W tv. I told them we didn't sell them any more.

He replied with, and this response has stuck with me for 10 years it was so out there....

"I suppose you can't get them anymore... like straight cucumbers... Oh well, never mind, its all Strawberries."

What a legend!
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 15:37, More)

» Eccentrics

Guitar Man/basketball man...
There was a rather large (6tf10-7ft tall) Afro carribean man who would walk around Birmingham city centre either with an acoustic guitar strapped to his back or bouncing a basket ball (or both), making random comments and laughing loudly in a chillingly deep voice.
Story goes - he was all about to start playing for the Birmingham Bullets (basket ball team) when injury struck and prematurely ended his career, sending him loopy!!!
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 15:28, More)