b3ta.com user JJ
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Recent front page messages:

Sh*t, a cat.......go-go gaget legs

(Fri 4th Apr 2003, 20:27, More)

Best answers to questions:

» The Police II

Damaging police property at 7...
Yet another story about a police educational visit to a school...

I was about 7 and we had a police visit to our class at school. After much talking by the officer we get to the point where he starts to talk about handcuffs and offers to handcuff one of us. I put my eager little hand up and was chosen, yay! So the copper handcuffs me to a bench and asks me to try and get out of them, git, and he then resumes talking to the rest of the class. Unbeknown to him, he's 'cuffed me to the CDT bench, so I open one of the drawers and pull out a hacksaw and start sawing - the look of anger on this coppers face has put me in good stead for the rest of my life to be a law abiding citizen, git.
(Thu 12th May 2011, 8:25, More)

» Pet Peeves

Some of my peeves...
Benefit leechers/fraudsters.
4x4 drivers (agricultral & business users that really need them are excluded).
Smokers, especially ones that hang around out the front of pubs, bars, shops etc, belching their fouls stench across the doorway.
Loud eaters.
People that sand really close to you when they want to talk to you, and when you take a step back to get some room, they step closer...grr.
Drivers that don't use indicators.
Drivers that can't park or drive, use mobiles when driving, flick fag butts out the window.
(Sun 4th May 2008, 22:13, More)

» Hidden Treasure

Sorry, another porn story...
Whilst surfing the interweb a few years ago i stumbled across the unlocked 'backdoor' to a well known pornsite, que me spending a couple of days downloading 200,000+ flash and image files for free - marvellous !
(Sat 2nd Jul 2005, 10:57, More)

» Scars with history

my toes...
whilst in the the sea off normans bay near eastbourne i broke my toes...

well, i was coming back in from a swim and stubbed my toe on a submerged rock - this made me rather angry, and caused me to shout profanities etc. i also turned to one side and kicked the water with all my angry might to vent the anger from within myself. what i didn't know was that there was a second submerged rock.... fuckin' ouch - i totally smashed two of my toes up - number 2+3 from the 'big toe' end. number 2 toe had managed to rotate itself 180 degrees, so from a standing position i could see the underside of my toe. nice. when in hospital, the noise from the number 2 toe while it was being rotated back into place was very similar to the noise made when you mash up a bamboo garden cane. again, nice. both toes are scarred rather nicely and number 2 toe is healed in an unbendable position.

i also have scars on my forehead from falling off a chair at school and hitting the edge of a table, on my chin after a bicycle accident hitting the rear of a ford fiesta and slicing my chin on the rear windscreen wiper as i slid back down, part of the end of my 'pointy' finger is missing where it caught the blade on a table saw, and an appendix removal scar.
(Sat 5th Feb 2005, 21:59, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

contracted self-employed
no money
not been paid by contractor for 7 weeks
been promised cheque next week - won't clear, (if it doesn't bounce), till after christmas
no xmas shopping done
no xmas visit to the pub christmas eve

have a merry phucking christmas :(
(Fri 17th Dec 2004, 7:37, More)
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