b3ta.com user stuntsmile
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» Mobile phone disasters

The Who
One girl I know had the 'Hope I die before I get old' bit from My Generation by The Who on her mobile.

Unfortunately, it went off while she was having an abortion.
(Sun 2nd Aug 2009, 7:10, More)

» The B3TA Confessional

To: Benedict XVI
Dear Joe

You know how you have those embarrassing moments when you go to children's hospitals?
On those days, I put viagra in your breakfast cereal.

Cardinal Badass
(Fri 27th Aug 2010, 10:51, More)

» Presents

I have several nieces, nephews. All the children of vehement religious zealots.
Every year I buy them documentaries, such as David Attenborough's nature documentaries. No toys, only the education I know that they won't receive otherwise. I take my responsibilities as an uncle quite seriously.

Alternatively, I also suggest:
It's from last year, but has some nice suggestions, such as butt glue, a Zombie Yard Sculpture, and The Uroclub - a golf club you can urinate into, for emergencies on the golf course.
(Fri 27th Nov 2009, 13:34, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

The type of erection a heterosexual man gets when viewing gay porn.
(Tue 1st May 2018, 11:35, More)

» Prejudice

Men with long hair.
This is the last acceptable prejudice. People do not hesitate to believe that a man with long hair must be unemployed or unemployable.

A man with long hair cannot be an executive or any higher management position unless he owns the company.

I've known women to accept this situation and believe it is morally acceptable, while they complain about the glass ceiling.

If a man grows his hair longer than usual, he loses 1 IQ point for every cm.
(Mon 5th Apr 2010, 3:38, More)
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