b3ta.com user ice9
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Profile for ice9:
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I draw for a living.
I also make Art Toys.

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Best answers to questions:

» Pointless Experiments

Seaside rock.
Don't microwave it and pick it up with bare fingers. It's like Napalm.
Still got a scar around my finger where the molten goo wrapped itself around.
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 10:40, More)

» Eccentrics

Not a story, but thank-you for a decent QOTW.
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 9:22, More)

» Blood

Ooh! Another one!
Bit of a long one, but at least not a terrible pun.

A few years back my wife and I shared a house with her sister and their friend Chris. We were drinking that night, with a couple of mutual friends, wine in the back garden stuff. Chris was a bit of a piss head and on this particular night was skint and determined to drink himself to the point of no return with whatever he could scavenge from the cupboards. About 10pm he was fairly gone, wrestling with one of the friends (Nick) despite barely being able to stand unaided. He then swigged most of a bottle of red wine in one loooong glugging session. His eyes slowly glazed as the bottle emptied.
It was decided we'd hit the town about 11ish, however Chris insisted he needed a shower before going out, and dashed of upstairs, and we waited patiently in the lounge.
(Oh, just like to point out that the shower cubicle was underneath some stairs and fully tiled, and slightly difficult for tall guys to stand fully upright in)
About half an hour later we heard a crash and hysterical laughing, we dashed upstairs to see Nick on the bathroom floor laughing his ass off, and Chris standing in the shower looking like the end of "Carrie" blood all over him, literally coated in it. He was also holding his elbow.
He was too drunk to remember what'd happened, but according to Nick (not the most trustworthy source) Chris had slipped in the shower, hit his elbow against the tiled wall, broke through the tile, and with his elbow still in there, gravity took hold and sliced most of it off.
We wrapped it in a towel and bundled him into the car to take him to the hospital, but he insisted he just wanted a plaster as he was going out and it'd be fine.
We got there and my wife dropped us (Chris, Nick and myself) at A&E so she could get some petrol and park up. We dumped him in the gutter and went for a pee.
He swore like Father Jack in the waiting room, so had to be put into a children's room out of the way. Eventually he got seen to, elbow sewn back on and discharged.
I went with my wife to fetch the car and returned to find the wheelchair he'd been in empty and surrounded by cones, and a staggering, zombie-like figure stumbling alone down the A&E ramp. Nick had needed another pee and thought he'd be safe blocked in by cones...

Sorry about the length.
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 15:16, More)

» Blood

Hmm, not the best topic.

I once had a massive abscess in my leg, (left shin) I was in the bath about age 15 getting ready to go to hospital to have it drained that day when it exploded, all this manky, skinking dark red blood and pus spewed out like a little volcano. I screamed for my mum to help, who bless her, mopped up the crap really fast before it spilled into the bath and flinging the tissue down the toilet, whilst I lay there cupping my balls to hide my wee man.

Also once sneezed whilst I had a bad nosebleed in the car; made the windscreen look like something out of Essex Boys. Crap tale, but looked ace!
(Thu 7th Aug 2008, 14:54, More)

» Common

Sign of a commoner.
People who wear running shoes when not doing sports. There are trainers for wearing in the street (Adidas Superstars, Nike 6.0, Classic Dunks etc), and sports/running shoes (Nike Air, Shox, Reeboks) for doing sports/running in, and should be kept separate.
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 14:12, More)
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