Profile for VandenPlas:
I am a female engineer originating from Stevenage, Hertfordshire (not 'artfordshire!)
I like reading and writing which I am fairly reasonable at and anime! I have only just started this along with learning Japanese, so I'm not too hot at it at the moment.
I like Invader Zim (hence the name) and Doctor Who and the Prisoner, oh and loads of stuff.
I hope to move to the Isle of Man one day and be the proud owner of a Rover 220 GSi Turbo. But hey, we can all dream ^_^
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I am a female engineer originating from Stevenage, Hertfordshire (not 'artfordshire!)
I like reading and writing which I am fairly reasonable at and anime! I have only just started this along with learning Japanese, so I'm not too hot at it at the moment.
I like Invader Zim (hence the name) and Doctor Who and the Prisoner, oh and loads of stuff.
I hope to move to the Isle of Man one day and be the proud owner of a Rover 220 GSi Turbo. But hey, we can all dream ^_^
Which OS are You?
 I am a Thrust-ship.I am small and tricky - where you think I am, I probably am not. I can work very fast, but I tend to go about things in a round about way, which often leaves me effectively standing still. I hate rocks. Bloody rocks. What Video Game Character Are You? |
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» Customers from Hell
Women can't be trusted
I am a woman and an engineer (shock horror). There aren't many of us about, and most guys are cool about it. In fact, it's normally the snotty office women staring down at me as if I am some sort of pond life.
But there are a few.
One was when I was going to a job with a couple of guys as a favour at an Alliance and Leicester - the offices, not the bank. So we get there, Wanker Manager meets us, he shakes the other two's hands - I proffer mine, and he completely blanks me. 'How rude' I think, but shrug and carry on. So we take a look at the machine, diagnose the fault etc.
Now considering I'm the only one with the laptops with the reports on I say I'll go outside the comms room in the offices and write up the report. I sit down at a desk smiling and nodding at the people around me - no-one says it's a problem to be there, so I happily type up my report, save it and start shutting the laptop down. The whole thing takes oh, three minutes?
At this moment wanker-manager comes over.
WM: You''l have to move from here the women are about to do payroll.
Me: Oh ok, I'm just shutting the laptop down I'll be five seconds.
WM: You need to move now, you can move to another desk, but they're about to do payroll.
Me: I know, you said, look the laptops dead, I'll move.
So now I'm thinking he's a complete twat now. I ignore him and go back to the guys. They say they need to talk to someone else and can I stay in the room with the unit whilst it does its self-checks?
Sure, it's not rocket science. So off they go and fuck me if not a minute later Wanker Manager pops his head round the door.
WM: You can't stay in here without an authorised person. The auditors are in. A member of staff has to be present.
Now fuming, I walked outside and over to my colleague. So men could be trusted, but evidently a pitiful woman like me couldn't.
Colleague asks me if I am okay noticing the bright red colour I am turning. I explain the situation, detailing how much of an outburst their would be if he made any sort of sexual discrimination again.
Luckily for him he didn't. Maybe he could see the smoke coming out of my ears. He was also very lucky I was doing it as a favour - if it had been one of my jobs I would have happily explained the problem with his attitude in front of his entire staff and probably told him to fuck off.
I pride myself on being pretty good at my job too, which I think hurts more.
Still I got my revenge. I set his service alarm to come up exactly one year from the installation date, instead of two and a half years as per normal. Hoepfully he'll put it through as a call out and he'll pay more as it's non-contract ^_^
He was ginger too.
Fuckwit.
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 19:50, More)
Women can't be trusted
I am a woman and an engineer (shock horror). There aren't many of us about, and most guys are cool about it. In fact, it's normally the snotty office women staring down at me as if I am some sort of pond life.
But there are a few.
One was when I was going to a job with a couple of guys as a favour at an Alliance and Leicester - the offices, not the bank. So we get there, Wanker Manager meets us, he shakes the other two's hands - I proffer mine, and he completely blanks me. 'How rude' I think, but shrug and carry on. So we take a look at the machine, diagnose the fault etc.
Now considering I'm the only one with the laptops with the reports on I say I'll go outside the comms room in the offices and write up the report. I sit down at a desk smiling and nodding at the people around me - no-one says it's a problem to be there, so I happily type up my report, save it and start shutting the laptop down. The whole thing takes oh, three minutes?
At this moment wanker-manager comes over.
WM: You''l have to move from here the women are about to do payroll.
Me: Oh ok, I'm just shutting the laptop down I'll be five seconds.
WM: You need to move now, you can move to another desk, but they're about to do payroll.
Me: I know, you said, look the laptops dead, I'll move.
So now I'm thinking he's a complete twat now. I ignore him and go back to the guys. They say they need to talk to someone else and can I stay in the room with the unit whilst it does its self-checks?
Sure, it's not rocket science. So off they go and fuck me if not a minute later Wanker Manager pops his head round the door.
WM: You can't stay in here without an authorised person. The auditors are in. A member of staff has to be present.
Now fuming, I walked outside and over to my colleague. So men could be trusted, but evidently a pitiful woman like me couldn't.
Colleague asks me if I am okay noticing the bright red colour I am turning. I explain the situation, detailing how much of an outburst their would be if he made any sort of sexual discrimination again.
Luckily for him he didn't. Maybe he could see the smoke coming out of my ears. He was also very lucky I was doing it as a favour - if it had been one of my jobs I would have happily explained the problem with his attitude in front of his entire staff and probably told him to fuck off.
I pride myself on being pretty good at my job too, which I think hurts more.
Still I got my revenge. I set his service alarm to come up exactly one year from the installation date, instead of two and a half years as per normal. Hoepfully he'll put it through as a call out and he'll pay more as it's non-contract ^_^
He was ginger too.
Fuckwit.
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 19:50, More)
» Bad Management
First?
Edit: Yay! Story to follow, I promise
Edit Edit: Okay, story:
For about a year I worked as an assitant manager at a petrol station and yes, it was as glamorous as it sounds.
We were getting a lot of bilkins (people filling up and driving off without paying) because the owners were too tight* to put up cameras that covered the whole of the forecourt. Only four out of seven pumps were in the cameras' view, and only two of them were in sufficient range that you could read the number plates of cars pulling up. Needless to say, a lot of people got away without paying.
So their solution? Put up more cameras? No, that would cost money. A much better idea was to implement a new scheme were the cashier was responsible for people filling up. Now, if someone drove off without paying and no number plate was taken down, it would be docked out of said cashier's wages!
I am not entirely sure how legal this was (as you could be docked for certain shortages within the law) and obviously got us quite worried - at rush hour it could get manic and there was no way you could read a number plate from the till for the three furthest pumps.
After having a bilkin myself (and not getting the plate details) I hit upon an idea. Most cars when they are registered are registered in blocks. For example I had an old Rover J245PUD and I regularly saw another Rover of the same model, but different colour, J248PUD.
So, as long as I could identify what make and model a car was, I would note it down. Then if another identical car came along, I would note down their registration, but change the last number, or in the case of the newer style registration, the last letter.
The company would then run it through and report it to the police, the police would find out that it was the wrong car (or a couple of times 'false plates' ) and it would be dropped.
Now, I know what you are thinking. There are two things in here that make me a complete cunt.
1) I provided them police false information, not only comitting a criminal offence, but wasting their time when they could be doing better things.
2) Some poor innocent sod probably got a nasty letter through the post telling them they were being reported for theft.
And you are correct.
I must say, I did not do this without some regret, all I can put in my defence is that:
1) Most of the time the police didn't bother chasing up bilkins, even the ones where we had the correct information and knew who the driver was.
2) I wasn't going to have about fifty quid (for cars, lorries could be up to £200) taken out of my already pathetic wages.
3) It wasn't long before the owners realised their new approach wasn't working and finally put in more cameras.
So to anyone who got hassled for something they didn't do, I am sorry. I was a cunt that had fuck all money, no backing from the people I worked for and the threat of losing my house if I didn't take home all of my wages.
Also, apologies for the long rambling post. I didn't mean it to go on like that.
* Just to note, these were the people responsible for our safety, left us to work night shifts alone, and didn't wire up the panic button. I had to press it once and then call the police later when no-one turned up.
(Thu 10th Jun 2010, 10:55, More)
First?
Edit: Yay! Story to follow, I promise
Edit Edit: Okay, story:
For about a year I worked as an assitant manager at a petrol station and yes, it was as glamorous as it sounds.
We were getting a lot of bilkins (people filling up and driving off without paying) because the owners were too tight* to put up cameras that covered the whole of the forecourt. Only four out of seven pumps were in the cameras' view, and only two of them were in sufficient range that you could read the number plates of cars pulling up. Needless to say, a lot of people got away without paying.
So their solution? Put up more cameras? No, that would cost money. A much better idea was to implement a new scheme were the cashier was responsible for people filling up. Now, if someone drove off without paying and no number plate was taken down, it would be docked out of said cashier's wages!
I am not entirely sure how legal this was (as you could be docked for certain shortages within the law) and obviously got us quite worried - at rush hour it could get manic and there was no way you could read a number plate from the till for the three furthest pumps.
After having a bilkin myself (and not getting the plate details) I hit upon an idea. Most cars when they are registered are registered in blocks. For example I had an old Rover J245PUD and I regularly saw another Rover of the same model, but different colour, J248PUD.
So, as long as I could identify what make and model a car was, I would note it down. Then if another identical car came along, I would note down their registration, but change the last number, or in the case of the newer style registration, the last letter.
The company would then run it through and report it to the police, the police would find out that it was the wrong car (or a couple of times 'false plates' ) and it would be dropped.
Now, I know what you are thinking. There are two things in here that make me a complete cunt.
1) I provided them police false information, not only comitting a criminal offence, but wasting their time when they could be doing better things.
2) Some poor innocent sod probably got a nasty letter through the post telling them they were being reported for theft.
And you are correct.
I must say, I did not do this without some regret, all I can put in my defence is that:
1) Most of the time the police didn't bother chasing up bilkins, even the ones where we had the correct information and knew who the driver was.
2) I wasn't going to have about fifty quid (for cars, lorries could be up to £200) taken out of my already pathetic wages.
3) It wasn't long before the owners realised their new approach wasn't working and finally put in more cameras.
So to anyone who got hassled for something they didn't do, I am sorry. I was a cunt that had fuck all money, no backing from the people I worked for and the threat of losing my house if I didn't take home all of my wages.
Also, apologies for the long rambling post. I didn't mean it to go on like that.
* Just to note, these were the people responsible for our safety, left us to work night shifts alone, and didn't wire up the panic button. I had to press it once and then call the police later when no-one turned up.
(Thu 10th Jun 2010, 10:55, More)
» Bad Management
Free Meetings
When I was but a lowly apprentice, I had to do a stint in every department, one of which was the dreaded sales. I had a very unhappy time there as my 'manager' was a complete bitch and useless to boot.
I digress. The manager decided they would have a meeting every Monday morning an hour before work. When she came round an told me I asked:
"Are we getting paid for the extra hour?"
"No."
"I'm not coming then."
"You have to."
"Not if I'm not getting paid overtime."
"Everyone else will be there, so you have to be there too."
"Er, no. I can guarantee you I won't be there."
And she was then suprised when I didn't turn up. I didn't hear anything more about it, not that I gave a damn.
An hour of free work on a Monday morning? I don't think so.
(Thu 10th Jun 2010, 19:34, More)
Free Meetings
When I was but a lowly apprentice, I had to do a stint in every department, one of which was the dreaded sales. I had a very unhappy time there as my 'manager' was a complete bitch and useless to boot.
I digress. The manager decided they would have a meeting every Monday morning an hour before work. When she came round an told me I asked:
"Are we getting paid for the extra hour?"
"No."
"I'm not coming then."
"You have to."
"Not if I'm not getting paid overtime."
"Everyone else will be there, so you have to be there too."
"Er, no. I can guarantee you I won't be there."
And she was then suprised when I didn't turn up. I didn't hear anything more about it, not that I gave a damn.
An hour of free work on a Monday morning? I don't think so.
(Thu 10th Jun 2010, 19:34, More)
» Cars
Not me but my husband...
Don't worry this is more interesting than my last post.
My husband is a service engineer like myself, and as such sometimes ends up out on the road at some god-awful hour.
He had just come back from a call-out and stopped by the office to drop off some parts, and was merrily, but tiredly (if that is a word), making his way home for the last half hour.
Threading through the back roads to pick up the A428, he suddenly has a silver BMW hurtle past him and stop sideways, blocking the road in front of him. Naturally stopping, he didn't really react for a minute as the four dark-clothed, hoodie wearing men got out of the car and approached him until through the fog of fatigue his brain suddenly clicked 'they're gonna take my car', and switched from '....' to 'FUCK THIS'.
The first one approached ahead of the others and just put his hand on the driver's door handle when SMACK! The hb kicked the door open hard, straight into the guy's nose. He staggered back, blood all over his face and the hb slammed the car into gear, flooring the accelerator and clipping one of the others as he kerbed it to get around the BMW.
He told me everything when he came home, and was worried that the Old Bill would show up, but something told me a group of car-jackers would hardly put in a complaint to the police.
Nothing ever showed up in the papers, no visit from the boys in blue so I guess he's off the hook. Not that the fuckers didn't deserve it.
(Tue 27th Apr 2010, 15:22, More)
Not me but my husband...
Don't worry this is more interesting than my last post.
My husband is a service engineer like myself, and as such sometimes ends up out on the road at some god-awful hour.
He had just come back from a call-out and stopped by the office to drop off some parts, and was merrily, but tiredly (if that is a word), making his way home for the last half hour.
Threading through the back roads to pick up the A428, he suddenly has a silver BMW hurtle past him and stop sideways, blocking the road in front of him. Naturally stopping, he didn't really react for a minute as the four dark-clothed, hoodie wearing men got out of the car and approached him until through the fog of fatigue his brain suddenly clicked 'they're gonna take my car', and switched from '....' to 'FUCK THIS'.
The first one approached ahead of the others and just put his hand on the driver's door handle when SMACK! The hb kicked the door open hard, straight into the guy's nose. He staggered back, blood all over his face and the hb slammed the car into gear, flooring the accelerator and clipping one of the others as he kerbed it to get around the BMW.
He told me everything when he came home, and was worried that the Old Bill would show up, but something told me a group of car-jackers would hardly put in a complaint to the police.
Nothing ever showed up in the papers, no visit from the boys in blue so I guess he's off the hook. Not that the fuckers didn't deserve it.
(Tue 27th Apr 2010, 15:22, More)
» Social Networking Gaffes
Years ago...
I made the mistake of joining MSN messenger (does that count? well, anyway) and talking to retarded Americans at 3am.
Why? I was on a downer at the time and getting seriously depressed and not having many friends of my own thought this would cheer me up along with the vast quantities of alcohol I was consuming.
How wrong I was. One guy insisted I should come over and marry him (I was training to be an engineer at the time so a Green Card wasn't a problem). All the girls were just really bitchy.
The reason I gave it up? Well apart from pulling myself together, I got fed up of people correcting me on my spelling when I typed words such as 'realise' and 'colour'.
Get stuffed. I don't whine on about 'gray' and how to pronounce 'paedophile' which I suspect half of them were.
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 16:00, More)
Years ago...
I made the mistake of joining MSN messenger (does that count? well, anyway) and talking to retarded Americans at 3am.
Why? I was on a downer at the time and getting seriously depressed and not having many friends of my own thought this would cheer me up along with the vast quantities of alcohol I was consuming.
How wrong I was. One guy insisted I should come over and marry him (I was training to be an engineer at the time so a Green Card wasn't a problem). All the girls were just really bitchy.
The reason I gave it up? Well apart from pulling myself together, I got fed up of people correcting me on my spelling when I typed words such as 'realise' and 'colour'.
Get stuffed. I don't whine on about 'gray' and how to pronounce 'paedophile' which I suspect half of them were.
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 16:00, More)