» Common

My neighbours

Since having the mini-wombles and spending my days at home, I’ve become somewhat of a nosy sod. Which is how I first noticed the new family across the road, now they’re known as the bloody scutters (as my husband and I have affectionately nicknamed them.) They sit on their arses claiming all the benefits they can in their paid-for-by-the-council rented house while the rest of the street work their arses off to pay their mortgages.

For me this delightful family epitomise common, here are a few examples:

The kids don't go to school ever; they instead hang around the front of the house all day, everyday attracting all the other local vermin. Mummy doesn't give a toss as her and boyfriend #999 spend all day in the pub, their idea of parenting is to bring their cider and black the ten feet from the pub to their house and sit on the front wall smoking and swearing with the kids.

Their house has a large back garden which their neighbour informs me looks something akin to a jungle, therefore when it was sunny this summer they spent their days sat in their front yard, which measures about 12 by 4 foot. When that got too cramped they branched out onto the pavement, and on one wonderful occasion they were sitting on dining chairs on the pavement while daddy chav (of the moment) cooked their dinner on one of those mini barbeques that was perched on the front wall.

If they weren’t on my front doorstep I’d find it laughable, the thing is though the majority of the street own their houses and work bloody hard to keep them, I feel particularly sorry for their neighbour, nice old guy, wouldn’t say boo to a goose. Then these chavs turn up and completely wreck the street, I have no idea how we’ll sell our house with them across the road. I actually found myself saying to my husband the other day ‘that Hitler, actually may have been onto something, he had it wrong with the jews though, do you reckon he could round up the chavs instead’.

*Pop* Beta cherry, be gentle its my first time.
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 8:38, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

The man and the maiden...
.
She was 15, he was 27 they met on the internet (where else) he was going out with a 16 year at the time. They chatted and became friends, he soon dumped the other girl and they started ‘seeing’ each other.

He’d ring her every night while she was supposed to be doing her homework and they’d whisper sweet nothings and declare their undying love for each other.

The summer she turned 16 she went to the big smoke of London to see him, she stayed for a week and he took her to see the sights and bought her alcoholic beverages while he quaffed enough drugs to stun an epileptic elephant. Alas they never consummated the relationship, for our maiden in this tale was still a virgin and painfully inexperienced this coupled with the man's drug addled state meant consummation was never successful.

The week over she returned to her little town and so resumed the late night calls and frequent emails. The maiden continued her studies at school and told her friends of her great boyfriend and how she was moving to be with him forever when she was 18.

But alas, on a windy day in the poor maiden’s free period between English and History the man dumped her! She was heartbroken, he was her soul mate they’d be together forever, how could he do this! Only the day before she had made the painful trip to the family planning clinic to ensure that when they met again they could freely consummate their love.

It took time but the maiden found a new love; what was this now she was unavailable our older man was interested again. He wanted and needed her, he had to see her! So they met again and he led her to a dusty underpass where they attempted to consummate their love once more, thankfully for the maiden this was also unsuccessful.

Once again the maiden returned to her little town, except this time she didn’t feel loved she felt dirty and used. The man persisted he wanted her, he needed her, until he found out she was no longer the virginal sweet little girl he met, she had slept with her new love! He raged, he shouted, he called her a slut and so the maiden and the man parted ways.

The maiden still hears from the man sporadically, he is now 35 and living with a fresh faced 18 year old. Upon reflection the maiden realises this man is a predatory bastard, who groomed and manipulated her when she was young and innocent; and he made a large contribution to the maiden ‘going off the rails’ as a teenager.

The story does has a happy ending though, as the maiden has since met and married her prince charming (who is frankly blinding in bed).

This is a cautionary tale; to those with daughters keep them away from the internet! You never know what sick pervert is out there waiting to rob her of her youth and innocence.

And to the man if he happens to stumble across this tale, I hope it shrivels up and dies.

Length... not worth the hassle and heartache.
(Fri 5th Dec 2008, 14:33, More)