b3ta.com user Virulent
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Recent front page messages:

Damn it!

(Fri 3rd Aug 2012, 8:09, More)

Sod it
Sad story, I got to 999 exactly a year ago, and couldn't think of anything to post for 1000... so I stopped posting(!)

Anyway, the local church/family centre has a little easter cross thingie outside. I had a funny thought, and thought I'd de-lurk to share my antics with you. SO, um, YAY!, 1000 posts (sigh)

(Wed 27th Apr 2011, 21:08, More)

Translation courtesy of Google!

(Sun 20th Jul 2008, 18:36, More)

All together now...

(Fri 6th Jun 2008, 2:49, More)

Bin Dun? Hope not

Edit: Dangit. I put Shrek in boxers to make it a little funnier, but I left Fiona Neked. Ooops
(Thu 5th Jun 2008, 21:37, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Pointless Experiments

Drunken Time travel
I was having a bizzare drunken conversation with my cousin about einsteins theory of relativity, in that as one accelerates, ones perception of time is altered to the effect that the faster one moves, the slower time is, relevent to the moving object. We decided to prove this by tying a clock to a piece of string, and swinging it round fast enough to cause a delay compared to another clock. Fortunately we didn't break anything, and managed to prove the theory, as the clock was cleary behind the control one.

Took us half an hour to find the battery again

(true story!)
(Thu 24th Jul 2008, 18:42, More)

» Devastating Put-Downs

Look at me, posting a qotw!!
So I'd thought make my friends giggle with the good old black adder piece. As I turned to the resident imbicile, knowing full well he wasn't savvy enough to get the reference, I was not prepared for the astounding comeback that put me squarely in my place...

'Oi, tw*t!" I began, "what starts with 'come here' and ends with 'Ouch'?"
a momentary pause, just the right length to be classed as perfect timing...

"I don't know... Your love life?"

I like to think he didn't realise the hillarity, and just got lucky.
(Fri 25th Nov 2011, 6:33, More)

» Public Transport Trauma

Not really traumatic... well maybe a little.
I was on the bus home from work one afternoon. Now back then, I worked on the outskits of Rotherham, but lived in the Doncaster suburbs. Naturally, this means the bus has to pass a few miles of open fields and small villages en route. Shortly after stopping on the outskirts of one such village, where your typical baseball cap-totting chappy gets on, the bus set off on its merry way, when suddenly some nutter in a full gorilla suit runs out of the bushes and straight at the bus with his arms flailing. The bus had already set off, and even if it hadn't, I wouldn't have let the guy on if I had a choice. As we pulled away, the simeonesque chappy stood at the side of the road yelling gibberish for a few minutes, and then ran back into the bushes, presumably to await his next 'victims'.

There was a few minutes of silence, then everyone just started laughing hysterically, and wondered what the hell was going through his mind.

I've never seen the monkey since.
(Thu 29th May 2008, 16:13, More)

» Letters they'll never read

Dear Virulent
That wasn't a girl!
(Tue 9th Mar 2010, 10:36, More)

» School Projects

Got an A+ on a large GCSE History project.
Shame the whole thing was copied word-for-word from the Readers Digest book "Where Why When and How it happened". *Whistles innocently*
(Fri 14th Aug 2009, 9:38, More)
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