» Accidental innuendo

In The Supermarket
While bagging groceries with my very good female friend I totally innocently said

'If you get soft I'll get hard'

She couldn't stop laughing for 5 mins
(Sat 14th Jun 2008, 10:06, More)

» Devastating Put-Downs

Easily confused
I was out for a friends birthday and there was a chap there I'd never met before. He was dull as hell and was the type of person who thought that turning everything you said back into a question at you made him look clever.

It didn't, it made him look like a dick.

Anyway, here's where I totally gave up with him.

Him: How are you doing
Me: Fair to middling
Him: Is that just a standard response from you?
Me: (starting to think he has a brain) Yes it is.
Him: Why do you say that then?
Me: To confuse idiots
Him: What do you mean by that.

I walked away with my moral triumph and ignored him for the rest of the night
(Sat 26th Nov 2011, 9:13, More)

» Will you go out with me?

I cant believe it actually worked
If I give you 17p will you show my your knickers!

Classy, aint I?
(Tue 2nd Sep 2008, 19:05, More)