b3ta.com user D1sc0
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» Real-life slapstick

On holiday in Kenya
I was about 10, watching a little boy of about 6 running around the hotel restaurant. He saw his parents outside... rushed to greet them... and ran straight through a plate glass window. Apparently he was horribly injured, but it was fucking funny at the time.
(Fri 22nd Jan 2010, 12:41, More)

» Rubbish Towns

Several
I used to work in touring theatre (dahling) and have visited most towns in the UK, literally. The worst 3, without doubt, are:

1 - Gainsborough, Lincs. Absolutely no shops, everything shut, full of cunts. When we got there the local paper was running a competition to win a car alarm. The question - guess the value of cars stolen in Gainsborough every year. (apparently it was at that time the car-theft capital of the country, though why you'd want to steal a 10 year old Ford Fiesta with no wing mirrors and undercoat instead of paint is beyond me.)

2 - Billingham, Co Durham. It was built to house the population of workers for the local ICI factory. Technically, therefore, everyone who lives in Bilingham is a factory-working chav, and since the ICI factory shut down I'm guessing the entire town is unemployed.

3 - Keighley, Yorks. There is no discernible reason to ever visit, let alone live in, Keighley.

And a bonus (4) while I'm at it - East Dereham, Norfolk. My brother lives there so I have to visit occassionally. There was a nightclub called Splits, since shut down after the owner was murdered I believe. I have never in all my life seen so many in-bred country-bumpkin farmers / squaddies. If Deliverance had been filmed here it would have been set in Norfolk, and East Dereham would be the bit where they get bum-raped.
(Thu 29th Oct 2009, 13:21, More)