WHafgtd

"It was a cold day"
(Wed 11th Jun 2003, 0:46, More)

» When animals attack...

Raccoons
This story is amusing but contains raccons, americans and cunts in an elevator (i was one of the cunts)

My whole family went on a skiing holiday in Heavenly, Lake Tahoe (Nevada), and stayed in a condo(m) with several floors all joined by those plank-style stairs and an elevator just opposite them.
One day on returning from a shopping trip my sister carried some food and stuff up to the condo first, and my mum, dad and I came up the elevator just after. As we reached out floor my sister ran to the elevator screaming 'get back in' in a panicky girly voice.., only for my mother to exit the lift in a rage of maternal instinct ran out - only to be pulled up the stairs by my sister, followed by a pair of raccoons.
My father and I (the two cunts in the lift) quickly used our verticle transporter to get to the next floor, only to realise we'd just missed them. Then we set off for 2 floors up, and on the opening of the doors we saw my sister and mum heading towards us, my sister shouting "run like the wind" with the most panick stricken face I've seen in my life.
Upon nearly getting into the lift, my dad realised that 2 racoons in a lift would be a bad idea, and quickly shut the doors. My last glipse of those raccoons before the doors last inch closed over, was of two smiling sexy animals with grins.

It was a funny incident, I think the raccoons thought they were having fun.

Anyways, the chase had started when my sister had petted a raccoon, but the some illegal south american maid woman had shouted at her to get away from them, - at which point the raccons had realised their attempt to lure my sister was failed, and started hissing and grinding their teeth. - The moral of the story, Raccoons kick ass.

I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did wanking while i wrote it.
(Sun 5th Jun 2005, 23:07, More)

» Near Death Experiences

Creepy bible-bashers might just know something.
I used to go to college in oxford, and rode the bus home in the evenings with another guy who lived where I did. One evening we were walking to the bus station and this guy was chalking things about the devil on the pavement. WHen we accidentally walked over one he said to us 'Don't die.. remember , don't die!'
We both laighed at it, but that weekend my friend went around a corner too fast in the wet and the curb flipped his car sideways. He said that all he could remember was the guy saying 'Don't die' so he put his hands up against the ceiling just before the car landed on it's roof and the roof caved in. He reckons if it wasn't for the memory of that guy he might have broken his neck..
(Sun 28th Nov 2004, 13:43, More)

» Have you ever been rude to a celebrity?

not amazing at all...
A friend of mine (see this story already sounds shifty) met Prince William at a party (god knows how she manages to fo this, but well..) she said to him, 'Hey I recognise you from somewhere'.. his reply went something along the lines of 'Thats because I am the prince!'
In reply she mimmicked his posh accent and I believe said 'Oh I'm the prince!!' (in a satiricle manner) and then walked off laughing.
He deserved it the self-righteous bastard!


I once tried to sell tickets the a hundres reasons gig to the drummer of the band.. I guess thats rude too!
(Thu 15th Apr 2004, 1:22, More)