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The lovely Bilbobarneybobs done this for me, and he'd only knowed me for five minutes:
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The lovely Bilbobarneybobs done this for me, and he'd only knowed me for five minutes:
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» Advice from Old People
Advice from my dear, departed dad...
1. Never let anyone tie you up, no matter how nice they might appear to be - I was about 14 when he told me this one, I didn't really know what he was on about.
2. When chased by a crocodile always remember to run away in a zig zag. If it does manage to catch you and takes you under, play dead (it will leave you to rot for a while in its lair until you're nice and putrid) hold your breath until it swims away and then make your escape!
3. If attacked by a shark, punch it hard on the nose.
Being brought up in the West Midlands, I found items 2 and 3 especially useful as you can imagine. Those canals are infested...
All of this advice was given without the slightest hint of irony. As yet, I've not had the opportunity to put any of these gems of wisdom into practice but there's still time...
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 21:31, More)
Advice from my dear, departed dad...
1. Never let anyone tie you up, no matter how nice they might appear to be - I was about 14 when he told me this one, I didn't really know what he was on about.
2. When chased by a crocodile always remember to run away in a zig zag. If it does manage to catch you and takes you under, play dead (it will leave you to rot for a while in its lair until you're nice and putrid) hold your breath until it swims away and then make your escape!
3. If attacked by a shark, punch it hard on the nose.
Being brought up in the West Midlands, I found items 2 and 3 especially useful as you can imagine. Those canals are infested...
All of this advice was given without the slightest hint of irony. As yet, I've not had the opportunity to put any of these gems of wisdom into practice but there's still time...
(Fri 20th Jun 2008, 21:31, More)