b3ta.com user Killer Vanilla
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Profile for Killer Vanilla:
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I hate people who take the teabag out too soon.
I live dahn saaf, but am currently oop north.
I love gin.
I'm not too good with image editing software so
instead I sometimes use a REAL PAINTBRUSH to make stuff like this

or REAL PENCILS for this

And I am still n00bing like non00b has n00bed before.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» My most gullible moment

Hymen on toast
Several years ago my friend Ash made the mistake of asking myself and two female friends something along the lines of "what actually IS the hymen anyway?"
Oooooh dear.

We proceeded to convince him that it was a type of mustard, traditionally given to girls by their fathers dating from pre-medieval times.
"Oh wow, really?" Said Ash. "Then ... why does it mean it gets broken if you lose your virginity?"
Frantically inventing, we told him that the fathers presented the symbolic virginity-mustard in a sealed glass container, and that when the girl got married, it was broken open and she was anointed with the mustard on her wrists and ankles.
"Whoah ... that's really interesting. I wonder why it died out," said Ash.
I think it was around then we fell over laughing and actually told the poor sod what it was ...
(Wed 27th Aug 2008, 21:37, More)

» Accidental innuendo

When I was traveling
My travel buddy and I had made friends with a lovely lass, K, and an equally lovely redheaded man-friend of hers, G, with whom she was clearly getting involved. We'd all got onto a ferry at pain o'clock in the morning to continue south, and I bought a ginger and apple juice drink. K, bless her, then calmly came out with this gem:

K: "I don't like ginger ... except for ginger nobs."
G: o_O

Took us quite a while to work out she meant ginger nuts, and that didn't make her case a whole lot better really :D
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 22:00, More)

» Customers from Hell

His name is ...
Ok, the only really hellish thing about this customer was the difficulty of trying not to laugh, but here we go.

Until today, I worked in a home furnishings store. A customer bought some stuff, couldn't carry it and was going to send her son in to pick it up.
"You'll know who he is," she assured us. "He's 25, he's about this tall, blond, and his name ... is Lol."
I stare.
"That's L-O-L: LOL."
"Yes ms. I think I'll remember that."
(Sat 6th Sep 2008, 19:43, More)