» Accidental innuendo

Eating Out
A few years ago Mrs Law and myself were on holiday in Cornwall staying in Redruth. One Saturday we booked to eat at a place called Tricky Dickies, just outside Redruth.

We went in sat down browsed the menu, ordered our food. Food duly arrives, and there is no salt and pepper. I ask the young waitress "Where are the condiments?". The young waitress looks at me for a second and says as loud as you please "What condoms?". I replied "no, condiments salt and pepper" (emphasied with hand movements to illustrate the point).

The poor girl was going very red by this point before she practially ran off and hid behind the till. We had another waitress for the rest of the night, who did bring over the salt and pepper.

Pop goes the B3ta cherry, after lurking for many months.
(Tue 17th Jun 2008, 14:32, More)

» Banks

Banking Student Woes
When I was a student a well known high street bank which we will call Boyds, and has a prancing horse as its logo, were kind enough to allow me to have a student account with an overdraft facility.

Unlike many of the stories here, the Bank were pretty good (whislt I was a student). I used £700 pounds of the overdraft which after three years of student living, was not a bad overdraft (beer and baked beans cost money after all). After I had graduated I decided to try and stay where I studied as I liked the town and was looking for full time employment.

So there I am job hunting, going to agencies reading the local paper, job section etc. I still can't even sign on the dole at the time, because I was still classed as a student. The Boyds bank start asking for there overdraft money back (about a week after my final results came in). They can see I am skint, money is going out, but no money is coming in. I explain this too the bank (just graduated, job hunting etc.), they make sympathetic noises, but the letters keep coming and then start going red.

At this point I was forced to go back and live with my parents, as the job hunting was taking some time. I was well miffed at this, as I had been banking with Boyds for years, and had not put a foot wrong, but when I needed them they kicked me where it hurts.

I have never forgotten there shabby service, and I will not be getting a mortgage with them, when the time comes. I will make some other ungrateful institution wealthy with all the interest they will charge me.
(Tue 21st Jul 2009, 1:03, More)

» Thrown away: The stuff you loved and lost.

Lego - Parent Commando Raid.
My Brother and I used to have two buckets full of lego. We liked our lego, and it was a prized possession. However to my parents it was a throw back to our childhood and not to be encouraged.

One day when I was away at University and my brother who at that time had joined the Royal Navy, and was away at sea. My parents did a commando raid on our room and gave all our lego away to our cousins. so not thrown away but definitely lost.

As you can imagine we were not happy when we found out, but what can you do.

The only real value the lego had was sentimental, but it was our lego damn it.
(Sat 16th Aug 2008, 10:10, More)