» Best Films Ever

I love b3ta
but this truly is the most dire QOTW I have seen in years....sorry.
(Thu 17th Jul 2008, 18:06, More)

» Pubs

Norfolk's answer to the Yeti
I have run pubs with Mr WoodKat for many a year now, and truly the most worthy person to be spoken of here must be one of my old locals. We shall call him Bernie (for that is his name). Now, even Bernie's wife had difficulty understanding Bernie's massively broad Norfolk ramblings, and this was only massively pronounced when Bernie drank. Which he likes to do. Lots. Bernie on one fateful summer's evening after 16 pints of Woodforde's Nelson's Revenge decided to headbutt the concrete pillar outside (not literally; as in having not seen it and tripping over it in his hops fuelled state)
Bernie, being an outdoorsy type of grounds keeper/builder type of man seemed not to mind the several pints of blood which were now pissing down his head and all over several of my staff members and regulars as we desperately tried to persuade Bernie to sit down until the ambulance arrived. He would have none of this until I brought a pint pot of ale out of the pub and told him he could only have it if he sat down. Which he done immediately, like a trained dog. Legend.
(Mon 9th Feb 2009, 11:44, More)

» Advice from Old People

My dear old nan always said
"If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say..."
*silence*
Go easy; noob.
Length? "...."
(Tue 24th Jun 2008, 20:51, More)

» Celebrities part II

oooh, lots...
I used to be Marketing Manager for a department store that had various celebrities come to visit to promote their wares; the likes of the wonderful late Mo Mowlam (who got us all thoroughly wankered in her hotel bar after a book signing one evening), Murray Walker, James Martin, Tim Smit, creator of the Eden Project in Cornwall and so on, but there are a few who stick in my mind for the wrong reasons!

Delia Smith was a particular diva, who clearly felt herself on a par with Madonna ("I want a certain brand of mineral water,cold! but no ice!", was then made to rearrange an entire book signing backdrop and queues,as Delia "likes to sit with her back to the wall"), Valentina Harris (Times chef) making a complete (scorched) pigs ear of some poor defenceless scallops in a cookery demo. The best one of the lot? Anthony Worrall Thompson. A more miserable, self obsessed, drama queen I've ever had the misfortune to meet. At least hardly anyone turned up to his book signing, so he sat like a sulky kid for an hour and a half. Oh, and he had a stinking hangover and reeked of stale booze. I didn't laugh-much.

Oh, and I was once incredibly rude to Joe Pasquale while waitressing once; he was performing at the local theatre and I didn't realise who he was so he was treated to a large helping of woodkat sarcasm. I just thought he was some annoying twat putting on a squeaky voice. So I wasn't too far out, really.
(Mon 12th Oct 2009, 18:11, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Chillies. I love 'em.
Of all varieties, but generally, the hotter the better. In pretty much any dish you can imagine.
Thing is, I love chillies, but they don't love me- in fact I can often be seen screaming like a demented banshee and running for the sanctuary of the WC, clutching my lower stomach, in a feeble attempt to stop the burning knives.

So, chillies are seriously restricted now, and this, sadly, is my biggest disappointment.

Oh, and getting jiggy in a swimming pool- sooo overrated. Nuff said.
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 17:49, More)