» Advice from Old People

Carpet fitter
I once done a bit of casual work with a carpet fitter in my early years. One day he was on about his past exploits and general tom-foolery with the ladies on various jobs and he came out with a gem of advice.

"If I see some fanny I've got to fuck it - you should never turn it down"

I heeded old Tony's advice and I can proudly say that I only have 18 months left on my prison sentence for rape.
(Wed 25th Jun 2008, 13:47, More)

» My Biggest Disappointment

Cornish Holiday
When I was about 6 or 7 I was on a holiday in Cornwall with my parents. One day we decided to visit Boscastle - I got all excited about seeing a castle.

There is no fucking castle. No even a ruin. Surely a job for the trades description act if ever I saw one.

I had a tantrum and got smacked by my mother to bring about an end to a shit day that really sticks in the mind.
(Thu 26th Jun 2008, 16:16, More)