» Advice from Old People

Exits
An old girlfriend was having a family get-together at the grandmother's beach house. All of the women were in the living room drinking one night. Grandma was asleep in her room.

As is the case when women are by themselves the conversation turned to sex. The subject of anal came up and each gave their opinion and experience amidst giggling and laughter.

Suddenly Grandma's voice called out from the bedroom: "It's an exit, not an entrance!"
(Tue 24th Jun 2008, 23:59, More)

» Trouble

Louisiana 2
I also had a run-in (well, a few actually) with Louisiana's finest.

Visiting one weekend with a college buddy and his friends outside of New Orleans at the friend's millionaire/drunkard's fathers mansion outside of NO the father stumbled downstairs and declared that he wanted to go into town to see a famous jazz musician playing a local club.

Piling into the Town Car a bunch of young nefarious looking lads and the above mentioned geezer went into town. Whereupon said geezer proceeded to get wasted and try to start fights with various strangers. The bouncers hinted that we should get the geeze out before they called the cops and we all hussled him out. In the back alley he started throwing a fit and one of his sons pined him down and started trying to slap some sense into him.

Then we heard a siren an looked into the lights of a NO police car. The two biggest black men I have seen in my life got out. Realizing that the scene of a bunch of young guys standing around while another young male was slapping the sh*t out of a geezer may not look like the best way to stay out of jail we all stumbled forward blurting out our side of the story while pleading "please don't kill us."

The son beating the father continued slapping him while lecturing "See, Dad? Now the cops are here. Now we are all going to jail. Do you see what you got us into?"

The officers stared silently for about five minutes. Then one of them said "hit him one for me, kid" and both got in their car and drove off.
(Sat 12th Sep 2015, 4:54, More)

» Trouble

Convention Crimes
A group of young lads rented a room at a fairly high end hotel where a gaming convention was being held. Being somewhat, er, high-spirited lots of illegal substances were present and a good time was being held by all. Then one member of the group, having killed quite a few brain cells, decided to let off a large amount of fireworks inside the bathroom. Which among other things destroyed a toilet and set off the fire alarm.

Being the good natured group always willing to stand up for our mates we of course scattered like roaches when the light is turned on, leaving the drunk/stoned/LSD's/Whatever cause of the uproar to face the music himself. But eventually what little conscious we retained rose up and we came back to help our mate face the music.

The hotel manager had us down in his office in a basement dungeon reading us the riot act and listing all of the charges that will be applied unless we could get our parents to cover the damages.

Unknownst to him while being less than stellar citizens and young males to boot we actually had decent jobs and things like credit cards, bank accounts, checks, etc. When he presented the invoice for the damages (much less than we expected) our reply of "do you want cash, check or credit card" suddenly produced a 180 degree of attitude. In less than a second it went from "you are going to jail, laddy" to "oh, yes sir! We will have everything ready in a few minutes, sir! Thank you for staying with us, sir!.

And they returned all of the drugs. And the 3' high bong.
(Sat 12th Sep 2015, 5:10, More)