b3ta.com user FatherJack
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» When I met the parents

Walking down the street,
we were confronted by a very drunk, very loud and sweary Irishman staggering towards us down the other side of the street. Thinking I was being very clever and most amusing I say to her "That's your Dad, that is."

It was.
(Sun 22nd May 2005, 17:24, More)

» When I met the parents

Thinking I was being cool
and clever (again) when my girlfriend said that her Mum would like to meet me, I, without her knowledge phoned up her Mum, invited myself round and had tea with her while the girlfriend was at college.

Not. Amused.
(Sun 22nd May 2005, 17:31, More)

» Fire!

used to play football with a tennis ball doused in lighter fluid and set aflame. Indoors, of course.

In the same house I once set the fat-filled grill pan on fire, looking back, putting it under the tap wasn't the best way to try and extinguish it. The gout of flame shot up the window, and a goodly way across the ceiling. The landlady insisted we had "stolen" the net curtains covering that window, but they had, literally "just vanished".

Obviously I still ate the fish fingers.
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 14:38, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

shit my pants when i sneeze

mind, i've always done that though
(Mon 1st Nov 2004, 9:51, More)