» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

What's really thick and lives on a globe?
A flat Earther.
(Sun 13th May 2018, 12:33, More)

» UFOs and close encounters

There's this bloke on the internet right,
Who reckons he's an alien and posts really fucking tedious essays about it.
(Thu 1st May 2014, 15:33, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

There's a new restaurant opened up near me. The staff were all medieval peasants who lectured me abut Caitlyn Jenner's penis privilege.
It was a Serf and Terf restaurant.
(Fri 11th May 2018, 9:52, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You II

My dad told me I had to wear smart trousers to a christening.

(Thu 10th Aug 2017, 12:35, More)

» School Days

Are there lots of people in Mianus?
Mr Triggs was a substitute teacher taking us for French one afternoon after PE. All the exertions the previous period had left us in no mood to work.

Mr Triggs knew this and instead of making us work decided to regale us about the two years he spent living in Alsace.

Yes, he told us, 30 bored teenagers, about the very enjoyable time he had in Alsace. Boy did we snigger.

Much fun was had trying to get him to say more hilarious innuendo without him cottoning on.

"Was it warm in Al's Ass sir?"
"Was there a lot of room in Al's Ass sir?"

Our fun was ruined when thicker-than-pigshit-boy, who seemed to be the only one who actually thought Mr Triggs was regaling us with tales of rampant bum sex, piped up with:

"Did you wear a condom up Al's Arse?"
Which was met with the reply:
"Very funny. Now back to work, all of you."

The thick twat.
(Thu 5th Feb 2009, 12:52, More)