» Festivals

Reading(s)
So many wasted nights at Reading over the last 7 years! My fave 'memories' include:

- Walking along the path doing a laughing gas balloon, then chugging a load of jack daniels, then have the full effect of the balloon hit me and find myself waking up in a ditch! Wooo!

- Trying to sell my Dutch friend at 5am(while drinking JD again!) and managing to do so but only by taking one of the girls from their campsite as change... who then ran away 10mins later!

- Many mobile mosh pits/raves :) good times!

- Whilst wandering round off my face some guy ran up to me and asked me if my name was Dave (which it is!), when I said yes he screamed "we've got one!" and out of nowhere 50 people suddenly appeared and started worshipping me chanting "we're not worthy"!!

Gotta love the Reading crowd, unforunately I feel far too old for them all now! Shame this years line up is so pants though cos I'd still go!
(Fri 5th Jun 2009, 10:15, More)

» Spoilt Brats

Kids these days...
A couple of years back I was working in Gamestation and some kid comes in with his dad looking for the new silver slimline PS2. Sony being their usual self decided not to produce enough for the demand, so naturally we where freshly sold out of them.
I let the dad know that the black slim line is in and exactly the same thing, but the kid was having none of it! The little fucker threw a right little tantrum over it! Calling his dad all sorts of things and refusing all of the games that he originally wanted because he couldn't play them on the silver PS2!
In the end his dad just bought him the slimline PS2 anyway and threw in a load of games to sway the kids decision, who grudgefully accepted his dad's cold hearted offer!
The lucky little bastard then got taken to McDonalds for lunch. PS2 and McDonalds! Although the dad may have actually been buying the console for himself and perhaps the McDonalds was just for the kid...
(Fri 10th Oct 2008, 21:22, More)

» Food sabotage

Last!
When I was younger, much quieter and frankly a bit of a wuss, I used to work in Gamestation with my best mate.. It was possibly the greatest job ever for a lazy teenager! On weekdays I'd pretty much be getting paid to hang out with my mate and listen to music as the shop was always empty.
The one downside to this job was our manager, an old bitter washed up butch dyke who had failed in the music industry and was now spending her final working days as a manager in a tiny games shop, treating her employees like shit! She would pick on everyone that worked there but would always do it in a 'we're mates, so if I smile when I say it you can't get offended' sort of way.

Now I'd been working there for about 6 months and I'd had enough of this constant abuse from her. She'd been picking on me for a while, picking holes at my life, pretending to be my friend so she could get away with slyly insulting me and my best mate. The last straw for me was when I was having a particularly bad day and while putting some CD's back into the drawer, I had dissapeared into my own little dream world, completely ignoring the fact that she was standing behind me asking me a question (ok I was already pissed at her so I was partly ignoring her!). She then proceeded to slag me off in front of all the customers and my colleagues, including telling me that I had serious mental problems that need to be addressed. For the rest of the day she proceeded to make comments to customers about me being mental, treated me like an absolute retard and forced me to do all the dirty work in the shop.

This was on a Sunday when the shop was still pretty busy, the next day I was scheduled to work with just her and my best mate. Someone had obviously had a word with her after I left on Sunday as that morning she grudgingly apologised to me and as a 'treat' it was my turn to take last nights takings down to the bank and as a special treat I was allowed to buy biscuits on the way back!! Oh the joy! (ok I was a bit happy cos I'd come into work stoned and had munchies like a motherf*cker!). On the way back I picked up some custard cremes(or was it the ginger ones?) and some fresh milk for tea. Getting back into the shop, she then 'thanked' me and then ordered me to make her a coffee seeing as she had been so nice to me. This was when the most incredible idea came over me! To piss in her coffee!

Off I went into the toilets and went about pissing into her mug. I filled it to the top to make sure that sides where nicely coated and then tipped the majority of it back into the toilet making sure that there was enough there for me to be satisfied but not so much that she'd notice! During this process I also noticed that I had been quite a lazy stoner and not washed for a while... In a stroke of genius I collected some knob cheese on my finger and rushed off to the pack of biscuits!! I carefully seperated a couple of the biscuits, wiped my finger along the insides and then put them back together. Fortunatly it was summer and the creamy bit in the middle was a little soft from the heat so they managed to stick back together again. I then finished off making the pissy coffee, stuck a couple of biscuits on her saucer and went to deliver her present! :)

Needless to say she never noticed! Although she was confused as to why I was suddenly so happy!

I think I may go back there this weekend actually! I've heard that she's still working there! Perhaps I should go back and let her know what I did! Or at least I can rub it in her face that she's still stuck there, while I'm half her age and earning at least double her wage!!
(Thu 25th Sep 2008, 14:13, More)