» My most gullible moment

My sister is a fool!
When I got my old computer I got a fancy case with LED lights all over it, at the front there was a line of them that sweeped on and off one after another... almost like a scanner. well this helped me get my sister wound up.

I told her that you no longer needed to put cd's/dvd's inside it, you just held the case to it till it "scanned" and I put a cd in withought her noticing and showed her how it worked... well she was blown away by it. so much that she went down to our local pc shop to ask for one of her own... The look on her face was pricless when she came back!
(Thu 21st Aug 2008, 20:21, More)

» My most gullible moment

How Gullible are we all?
My story is hidden in the page, to unlock it Press Alt+F4...
(Thu 21st Aug 2008, 20:51, More)

» Will you go out with me?

my lil cuz is a player!
One about my wee cousin, Wullie has been in the eternal on/off, boyfriend/girlfriend with his next door neighbour (not suggested for those that enjoy there space). She's just as fit as she is a bunny boiler! Anyways He's ended it "for good" (this time)

It's not even been a day and He's already being propositioned in his pies! (she works at greggs). Today he found a note in th bag with his pasties. The note included her number and "I fancy you" not sure if he's gonna call? I would but then I'm desperate!
(Sun 31st Aug 2008, 23:32, More)

» Customers from Hell

I'm a security officer....
So I've seen my share of nightmare customers. couple examples follow:

1) Ok, so there are alot of differences in Sottish and English law, for starts the 24Hr alcohol licensing doesnt happe in Scotland. The latest a shop/supermarket can sell acomahols is 10pm While contracted out to the "lowest bidder" (Resco... or some pish like that) I heard a scuffle happening over by the Tills. So I wandered over to see if anyone was bleeding yet. (They niknamed my store Bosnia!)

I see a Short, Skinny, Manky looking skin-head Yelling at the poor lassie...

Cunt: I'm just wanting a few FUCKING cans!

Cashier: Sorry sir, but due to scottish licensing laws we cannot sell alcohol after 10pm, The time now is 10.02pm sir. The till won't let me put it through.
(very well done on her part)

Cunt: If this was chelsea I'd cut your fucking ears off!

TB: Sorry sir but this isnt't chealsea, If you dont behave

Cunt: Where the fuck did you come from

TB: Thats enough, out you go. Or I'll call the police

(walking him to the door, He had calmed a little then said...)

Cunt: Fuck Scotish law!
Just as the police walked in (management called them) The police bounced him up and down a bit before taking him in ;D

2) 2 Guys and a telly! While working out of town. i was covering another "Resco" Andthe manager told me to follow a female customer. "Aye her mate, total junkie" (out o earshot) So I'm subtly tracing her movements and keeping an eye out for any sign of consealed items or hidden pockets. When the front door alarm goes off (you know the one when the cashier forgets to take the tags off your clothing/boose/DVD's!) So I Jog over to check it out. and there is a staff meber saying "they ran that way."

Well they already got a head start on me so theres no way I'm catching them. So I go to the CCTV room and start checking the tapes...

You see the 2 guys come in and then just sprint with A TV. I got the times and camera numbers written down for my report and I see on the monitor the police walking in with the TV. They cought the buggers down the road. First thing they said was "we never knicked it!"

About an hour of giving statements and signing out the Tapes and stuff. I finally get toe the shop floor and the manager (that advised me to watch somone else) says "Why weren't you paying attention to the guys with the TV?" (Infront of all the other managers)

I screamed "DICK!" in his ear... (ok I didn't, but I wanted to)




Got LOads more but I dont have the time to write them all up.

Length: Proud enough!
(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 5:13, More)

» Will you go out with me?

Oh I just thought of a positive one!
In highschool I sat next to Kristin, long blonde curly hair, bright blue eyes and an adorable laugh. lucky me Eh.

Well After getting to talk a few times. conversations started with me asking to borrow a pencil (even if I already had one) Talk turned to chatter chatter turned to likes and dislikes and the next thing I knew I was singing to her in the middle of lessons (got a few detentions for her!) I eventually wore her down with wit and charm (god knows when your as ugly as sin you gotta have something up your sleeve)

Then came the Prom (leavers dance) And we all decided to go as a group. I went with the Kilt (and if I'm proud of anything its that I look damn good in a kilt!)

anyways there I was looking spiffy on the last night of school (my last chance to go for it) and I waited till our song came on (the one I had requested, the very song I sang to her in maths) She started blushing instantly and i whisked her up to the dance floor (swept her clean off her feet)

We dated for about a year. But in the end we were looking for different things
(Sat 30th Aug 2008, 4:10, More)