» Conversation Killers

Polite tea one day at the vicars.
I used to hang out with our local vicars kids alot when i was younger, we were the same age and had the excitement of starting school together. Being at the Vicars convivial lunch table one fine spring day the Vicar started telling us about lent and said that maybe we should each try and give something up, the usual replies from the vicars son and I, chocolate, sweets etc... Then the Vicars very sweet, 5 year old daughter piped up in a lispy voice "I'm going to give up some fucking for lent!" The Vicar and his wife looked astonished and the room went awfully quiet. That night at home I asked my parents what some fucking meant. Double whammy! It transpired in the end that the poor girl had spoonerised it and meant to say thumb sucking. Oh well.
(Thu 12th May 2011, 14:12, More)

» Churches, temples and holy places

Beer, Joint, Church.
Oh... and appaling pink jumper.
(Tue 6th Sep 2011, 15:51, More)

» Surprise!

I think these guys were surprised
When my Pa was a teacher in Bath we (my bro and I) used to have great fun with skinny dippers, my Dad was a head of faculty and taught at a girls school (I used to have the sexiest nubile baby sitters) my bro went to a private boys school (very exclusive) he obtained these massively loud German bangers one night from a friend of German origins....after he noticed some skinny dippers having sex in the girls school pool, he got his friend to crawl around commando style and steal their clothes, knowing that the shortest distance between them and freedom, was the road, which was a long but busy road into town,( for anyone that knows Bath, my bro's school was kingswood but we lived at the Royal School) Anyhow they stole these innocent skinny dippers clothes, then threw lit bangers at them, they shot out the pool crying gunfire,ran through the nettles, and jumped over the wall onto the main road naked, and ran and ran. That must have been quite a shock, I lovethe thought of the young lovers running terrified, excited and appalled down the road, taking desperate measures to cover their dignity. The guy had quite nice clothes apparently, my bro gave them to the sally army. At least it was all for a good cause.
(Sat 6th Apr 2013, 21:57, More)

» The B3TA Detective Agency

Thank fuck for that, so glad iffy crushes is over.

(Fri 14th Oct 2011, 2:44, More)

» Puns

in reply to halfy
i remember my favourite head line came shortly after an unexploded bomb had been found at a popular seaside destination.
it read

"shell found on beach"
(Thu 5th Mar 2009, 17:57, More)