b3ta.com user Phoenix211
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» Siblings

My brother lit himself on fire. Twice.
my brother Alex is a smart kid... he just has some logic issues.


for instance: before my dad moved out, he used to pour gasoline into the wasp nests in our yard to suffocate the wasps. when he did move out Alex took it upon himself to do this job. what Alex didn't realize was that my dad didn't light the wasps nest.

he walks into the front yard, pours gasoline into the wasp's nest, lights it, and freaks out. he realizes that the huge fire coming out of the middle of our front yard in not a good thing and tries to stomp it out. as he stomps, more gasoline comes up and the fire gets even bigger. he keeps trying to stomp it out, which catches his pants on fire. then he starts running around in circles like a maniac. about five cars stop in the road just to watch his maniac-running, and our neighbor finally comes over to extinguish him.


2nd example: Alex lit his hand on fire because my other brother said it wouldn't hurt.

after school one day my brother showed Alex this trick where you put a small amount of lighter fluid in your hand and light it (it burns off quickly). Alex tries it, but instead covers his hand in lighter fluid and waits for a second. it doesn't light. he repeats, and it again doesn't light. the third time, he covers his hand and lights it as quickly as possible. it bursts into flame, since the first two coats soaked in, and once again, Alex freaks out. he begins to beat his hand against everything in the room and ends up throwing himself on top of his hand.

he got 2nd degree burns and spent the next month wearing a glove on one hand (michael jackson?).


he is smart, i promise.
(Thu 1st Jan 2009, 21:55, More)

» Siblings

When I Was Very Small
my brothers are troublemakers. always have been.

one day my name appeared on the wall. my brothers claimed that it was my fault. the issue? i wasn't old enough to know how to write.

it's all downhill from there.
(Thu 1st Jan 2009, 21:17, More)

» Gambling

I've never gambled
though i did once bet my friend at her uncle's wedding that she couldn't get her grandmother to dance to the song "Sexy Back". It was 20 bucks well spent. :D
(Mon 11th May 2009, 21:49, More)

» Cougars and Sugar Daddies

Not a huge age gap but...
It has recently become a running joke between my brother, his best friend and I for his best friend to look over at my brother and say, "I'm going to steal your little sister's innocence later. How do you feel about that?"

He said this one night while we were eating pizza in a restaurant (needless to say, the people around us weren't our biggest fans) so I responded with, "This whole 'steal my innocence' thing... is that coming with the assumption that I'm innocent?" The girl sitting beside me (one of my brother's friends) looked at me in horror and screamed, "What the hell did you do!?" It really didn't raise the opinion of the people around us any.

I know it doesn't really answer the question, but it makes me laugh.
(Thu 11th Dec 2008, 1:11, More)

» Addicted

Degrassi
i started watching it like two years ago... there's just something about people with lives more fucked up than mine that captures my attention.

plus, how can you resist finding out all about the valedictorian class president who used to be a social nerd until she started dating her long-time crush only to get pregnant and then give the baby up for adoption before her baby daddy was murdered by a kid from their rival school which later burnt down forcing all the students into Degrassi where Liberty (girl from above) would have to compete for her valedictorian title with one of the Lakehurst kids that was dating one of her best friends who she later stabbed in the back by making out with said competition.

that's only one character.

somebody help me.
(Thu 18th Dec 2008, 21:13, More)
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