» Customers from Hell

Working in a bar
I was doing the rounds and decided to check the toilets. I noticed that the sit down toilet was blocked up with so many layers that it resembled a hellish Vienetta. I reported as such to my manager in the hope that he\\\\\\\'d get a skivvy to attempt an un blocking. He did. Unfortunately it was me.

I armed myself with a mop, some bin liners and some marigolds (i didn\\\\\\\'t really have a properly formulated plan of attack). I got back to the toilet no more than three minutes after noticing it was blocked to find a still reasonably sober prannock having a big shit on top of it all meaning I not only had to tackle the afore mentioned Vienetta but also the dead otter which had suddenly appeared on top of it all.

Yeah Cheers Mate.
(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 17:05, More)

» Will you go out with me?

We\'d known of each other for some time
but finally got it toghether at a mutual friends hat party. She was wearing a funeral/wedding hat (I always get those two mixed up) and I was wearing a giant furry number which makes me look remarkably like Teen-Wolf\'s retarded brother. I can\'t remember much of how I managed to woo her, only that we ended up back at hers.
My next clear memory is waking up on her sofa wearing only her short denim skirt. There was an odd pain and I found what appeared to be two large brand marks on my right buttock. There was also a large quantity of what appeared to be (and later turned out to be) my blood smeared onto walls around her flat.

Needless to say I saw her again and about a month later she moved in. We\'re still together to this day and to this day she still claims now knowledge of what transpired that fateful night
(Fri 29th Aug 2008, 11:50, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Biggest Mistake was
Accepting without question any invite I was ever sent but never initiating one of my own. A bit like real life really
(Thu 11th Sep 2008, 14:50, More)

» My most gullible moment

When I was a young \'un
My mother always told me that when the ice cream van played music it meant that it had run out of ice cream.

I can forgive her though as she also made me believe that the cats eyes in the road are operated by dwarfs in tunnels who run in front of your car at night and shine torches up through small holes in the road. I don\'t mind falling for this one as I think the world would be a better plac if it was true.
(Tue 26th Aug 2008, 10:15, More)