b3ta.com user timewarper
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for timewarper:
Profile Info:


Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Customers from Hell

The creepy Pharmacy Guy
Wrong on an entirely different level...

I used to work in a small local pharmacy when I was at secondary school. I started in the afternoons after school, and was eventually promoted to Saturdays. Woot!

Anywho, a fair few odd balls came in to our pharamacy, but one always sticks out...

I was doing my thing one Saturday, making shelves look nice and all, when a man approaches the counter to collect his prescription. So i find it for him, and politely ask him to fill in the back. He looks at me for a moment and asks "You used to work here during the week, didn't you?" I reply in the affirmative. He smiles, looks down at my breasts and says "My you've grown!" I felt physically sick. I was only 14 but an early developer... he must have been near 50. I collected his form and hid round the back until he had left. I refused to serve him after that. Especially as one days as I was walking home for my lunch break, he happened to pop out of the off licence as I was walking past and stared at me all the way up the road. Creepy man.

The viagra customers were never that pervy, I guess coz they were getting some!

Sorry for rambling, first post after much lurking!
(Tue 9th Sep 2008, 14:14, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

My mum
gave birth to me, i think that was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me....
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 21:10, More)

» Customers from Hell

Not exactly from hell
But annoying nonetheless.

Being a student and in desperate need of money, bar work is the easiest thing. During my holidays I worked in my local. It's a nice pub, all the regulars know me and banter is the name of the game. Don't work there now though as new management means its turned in to a dive. But anywho, this story concerns an elderly couple who would come in about 3 or 4 times a week. They were rather well off (as you would expect in Surrey) and had the annoying Queens english accent. The husband would usually open a tab, they would stay for a few drinks and then go home. Rarely any complaints, and they were polite and all.

However, the problem would be when they got chatting to people. They'd stay for more than their customary few drinks, rounds would be bought, chaos would ensue. One memorable occasion was one sunday evening. This couple had been in all day, drinking with another couple of regulars, and all were very drunk. The husband had gone to the toilets (the toilets were upstairs) and on his way back had used the bar to help him walk, stopping every now and then when gravity was getting the better of him. He came up to me, slurred some drink order, and I politely refused to serve him, as my job required me to do. He didn't like that, and got angry, demanded to speak to my manager as they were friends and he would never refuse service. So, whilst my manager was on his way, I served someone else, who made the comment "And they say youngsters can't handle their drink." At this point the gentleman in question was trying to lean on a high table but kept slipping off. Was quite funny really. My manager arrives, I explain why I won't serve him, he says to give him half a pint and that would be it for the night. I was fuming, majorly annoyed that he had undermined me, I said that he would have to serve him as I still refused to. The old man took his drink, smirked at me, turned around and promptly fell over throwing the drink on the floor. Point proven really.

The wife was just as bad sometimes. Especially if she sat with the builders. Glasses of red wine knocked everywhere... she only seemed to drink red wine when she was really drunk. Once service was refused, she'd get the builders to order her drink, which of course I refused to serve, even when they tried to claim it was for them.... as oppossed to their usual order of 5 pints of rats piss. Builders used to get a bit miffed, saying it was OK, she was with them. Trying to explain that I am required by law not to serve drunk people (yes, pub law seems a bit strnage in that respect), and I didn't want the thought of that one drink could mean that when she walked out of the pub she fell over and hit her head on my conscience, they relented. After much screaming and shouting from the old lady.

They gave me a tenner when i left at the end of the summer to go back to uni, and a thank you for looking after them. So not so much from hell, just a pain at the time.

Length? Well, she couldn't handle it, but neither could he
(Wed 10th Sep 2008, 18:00, More)

» Food sex

Colman's Mustard...
A few months ago, I was talking to my flatmate, sitting on her bed, having a girly chat as you do. I happened to glance down to the floor at the side of her bed and noticed some lube. Nothing wrong there, pretty standard for her actually. Then I noticed the Colman's English Mustard. I didn't ask for an explanation, I just didn't want to know. I haven't been able to eat mustard since.
(Mon 10th Aug 2009, 23:57, More)

» Public Sex

The student union
I was a bit of a shameless hussy in my second year of uni. No apologies for it, had a great time! Anywho, I'd been having a sort of fling with the education officer of the student union. He was incredibly welsh (from Aberdare, thick accent), but a sound guy and we were and still are good mates. One night we were in our university nightclub on campus and rather drunk. He turned round to me and said that we didn't have to pull everytime we went out as he didn't want to ruin our friendship. That was fine by me as I was sort of getting to know the assistant manager of the uni club at the time (much to the anger of the manager but that's another story). Then, 5 minutes later, he comes up to me at the bar where i'm standing with a mate to declare that some guy had just been sick on him in the mens bogs. Much hilarity and jibes. Then turns to me and asks if i wanted to go up to the sabbatical offices for a shag. Being drunk I said yes (he had washed hte sick off, it was only on his shoes). So we get the master key off the president, and make our drunken way upstaris, where I bump in to the assistant manager, who asked me where i was going. I told him I'd left some paperwork up in the office and was going to get it, at midnight on a friday night... oddly enough he believed me.

Anywho, much horizontal naked fun was had. On everyone's desks thanks to the joy of the master key. Got me in a bit of trouble on the monday, but we all laugh about it now. We decided to open the board room as there's a huge desk in there, and he proceeds to turn the light on. I went mental. He turned around and said he did it because he couldn't see. To which I replied, fair enough, but now all of the halls on campus could also see our drunken escapades. So that was how the first years that year saw a free porn show.

Would have gotten away with it if i havdn't knocked over a cup of coffee and left smear marks on the president's computer screen.

Length? He had a lot of stamina when he was drunk, and I had to explain why it too an hour to find a piece of paperwork to the assistant manager...
(Sat 25th Apr 2009, 16:41, More)
[read all their answers]