b3ta.com user John Q Wagonwheel
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» Stupid Colleagues

Hoover boy
A blond, curly-haired, lanky Scottish guy got an internship at a former workplace of mine. Each morning he was clearly either coffee-grappling his way out of a K-hole or the most depressed creature on the planet. He had made it clear to us that he didn't need the position with a series of smug remarks about his uni grades and how his dad was a big-time producer for the BBC. We thought he was a bit of a prat, but presumed some intelligence was packed behind the arsey exterior.

Anyway, one afternoon, him being an intern and all (I was too, but working in a fancier kind of slavery) and there not being much on, I asked him to hoover a smallish office. Brought him the hoover, left him to it.

'Ok', he said.

I went back to my desk round the corner.

There followed twenty-five minutes of silence.

Eventually I went to see if he was alive.

I find him, chin in hand, staring intently at the hoover, which is still lying on the ground, lifeless.

'What's wrong?' I say.

'I can't get the hoover to work. I think it's broken.'

I look down at it.

'It's not plugged in.'

(Sat 5th Mar 2011, 22:12, More)