» My sex misconceptions

just cause it had to be told...
Well so over the summer I was at a party and got terribly wasted. Not long after I hooked up with some one of those girls that goes to parties cause she wont get any if the guys are sober.

so we hooked up and she did the whole oral thing as a finishing touch.

afterwards i go outside to have a smoke and when i come back inside the house i see her on the couch violently making out with one of my friends.

(now, let me just say i was not jealous by any means nor did i feel used, considering i had gotten off and was satisfied.)

i just joined the rest of the party and when i later on informed him that he had been gargling my potential children, he looked mortified and i'm pretty sure he threw up.




all i have to say is... ownd
(Mon 29th Sep 2008, 14:25, More)

» Family codes and rituals

Ever heard of the punch buggy game?
well it goes like
everytime you see a VW beetle you punch someone in their arm and shout the color followed by "PUNCHBUGGY! NO PUNCH BACK!"
well my father started this with my brother and I who are about a year apart in age. As we got older though, my brother and I got a little more vicious on road trips and it finally stopped after I thought it would be funny to hit my brother while he was asleep.

however, not long ago I was on the phone with my dad and heard him get my sister in the background.
(Fri 21st Nov 2008, 15:01, More)

» School Days

CODE BLUE BALLS
Well in the lovely US we have in our school systems required drills for twats. One of these said drills, after 9/11 is a Code Blue. This basically means that when they say some key phrase over the intercom, the school is on lockdown because there is someone in the building who shouldn't be. So all of the teachers close their rooms off and shut off the lights and get everyone away from the windows remaining as quiet as possible.

In my junior year of high school, there was a drill for a code blue in the middle of day. Well in one ofthe computer labs some boy decided this would be a nice time to enjoy some oral. So when the lights went out the girl next to him willingly went under the table and went to work.
The lights camne on sooner than expected and needless to say, it was incredibly awkward for all parties involved. The girl was expelled where as the boy was... relieved....

Not really though, he was expelled too. But her parents decided they had the right to sue the school. This law suit is still going on, to my knowledge.
(Fri 30th Jan 2009, 14:44, More)

» Public Sex

Parking Lot Sex?
Now I suppose that wouldn't be that shocking.... had it not been in the middle of the parking lot about 6 at night with hardly any discretion.
Although it seemed like a good idea at the time, you know... with the heat of the moment and all that... I'm sure the police might not have seen it the same way...
(Fri 24th Apr 2009, 14:01, More)

» Tightwads

This one's a bit of an asshole tale
Well a bit over a week ago I blew out a tire on my car. When this happened, the rim slammed the ground and bent. When i went to get a new tire, i found out that i needed four and a new rim, since the dinged up one wouldnt hold air.

the problem is, wheels themselves are fuckin expensive!

so a friend of mine and i decided we should drive about until we find someone with an auto the same as mine. The plan was then to grab their tire in the middle of the night and put my shit one in place so that they would assume they hit a curb.

Well i've come to find out that my wheels are custom and i therefor need to order four new ones.


Karma really bent me over and had its way with me on that one
(Fri 24th Oct 2008, 14:20, More)