b3ta.com user Master_Slob
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Spaz of the 1st order, leader of cats.

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» Break-up Stories

OK now... as the time is pertinent.
Got a msg outta the blue from a very lovely Kiwi lady I used to hang out with go places. Always fancied the arse off her; but collided relationships, I was or she was in ensured we never took any further.

That was circa 1995, the Kiwi met someone here in the UK and went back to sheep-land and finally married someone, who ended up cheating on her and the resultant divorce followed, queue lots of non starters for her ongoing.

Me, 1st marriage was cheated on, divorce. 2 years, 5 year legal battle and 40k in legal costs each.
Second marriage, 7 years and 9 together.

Last 2 - 3 years were hell with her son (my stepson) and her work / life, rowing every night, constant unwillingness to partake in each others family interests or me wanting to take time away with her alone.
The life was so toxic, I needed an out.
Massive depression on my part, prozac and counselling and such like, I learned a lot over those 2 -3 years.
Had resultant stomach issues, confined to work from home with no travel for work. I felt like I was dying.
Drinking too much... just needed to block the day to day out.

Mainly, it's really hard to bring up some other guy's kid from the age of 6 to 16.
I guess I am just not cut out for that, gave it what I thought was serious try, I failed as I am leaving.

So I piss off to Paris to meet with the Kiwi, for me... way too much good food / wine over several days.
Finally found myself alive again, talked to a lot of interesting people in cafes and bars.
We also hooked up with an Mercan workmate of mine for a night out, the coup de gras were 'Long Island Iced Teas' (French style).

So I asked her 'Would you like to take this ongoing', she answered 'Yis' (as they do).

She invites me back to Geneva after... hung out with her and relatives on lake Garda, had the best time.
Speaking daily on Skype, arsebook... et al, ongoing.
Meeting again in October in Thailand... looking to move to NZ to be with her, failing that shes coming back to the UK.

Ex Wife to be is ok, we both want to stay mates outta this, I will still support my stepson outta choice not commitment.

So possibly the best breakup ever.

We are all in a good place, all

Much love.
(Fri 13th Sep 2013, 15:50, More)

» Dates Gone Wrong

I sorted a date with nurse.
Day of date:

Several calls saying she was on her way, in 30 min intervals... 3 hours elapsed and i'm sitting in the pub paying my rent in pints. So I get to 6 pints of Tangle foot and just decide wtf i'm in for the long game as people are chatty and just enjoying banter with locals.

She finally arrives, dressed like a hooker from a cheap 80's pron, offer to buy her a drink. She orders a double straight vodka, downs in 1 and vanishes to the bathroom.

5 min later she reappears, with a slight nasal irritation.

rinse and repeat for another 4 rounds, I switched to spirits as the bulk of gods finest was bloating.

Every round, She 'needs a pee', 5 mins and nasal probs.

Get to restaurant, order food. Every 5 mouth mouthfuls 'need a pee' off again to bathroom.

Cutting short as this is as tedious typing as for you reading.

She was bulimic, alcoholic coke fiend.

Back at my flat she was in bathroom on her phone trying to arrange a £250 drop of coke at my address and she asked me if I could lend her some money.

Fuck that...

I recalled her dealer and said I cant pay and neither can she and kicked her out.

Hows that for a first date?
(Thu 4th Sep 2014, 22:49, More)

» Near Death Experiences II

How hum
Was on M25 getting home from work.
Just on the Dartford bridge when there was mass pile up in front, I hit the brakes and missed the anal encounter.
Like in slow motion in my rear view multiple cars slammed into each other, human centipede style.
Then BANG! I was then joined to the centipede and smashed up through the rear of the car in front.
3 Wheels left on the ground, glass blown out everywhere, pissing blood.

I remember not a lot other than being dragged from the car by a Police officer and some guys shouting 'You Cunt' at me from a minibus.

Shoved into hospital and exited some time after, fucked my neck, back and knees, otherwise ok.
(Fri 16th May 2014, 18:53, More)

» Little Moments of Joy

Tis qual...
10 years and 7 months working for employer, every quarter risk of redundancy urgh etc. STRESS
Escaped for 10 years and 5 months, then the hammer fell 10 years and 6 months... yr selected.
3 required meetings, between meetings 2 & 3, got a job interview for similar role doing similar things.
10K more and 5 Weeks in Kiwi land as a holiday - time out... has to a bonus... ok, that and a large pile of redundancy cash!

Smiling all the way

Ker'ching!!! fuck you corporate 2 letter initialism soulless fucktards!
(Fri 24th Jan 2014, 18:12, More)

» The Little Things

The use of the word *Robust* regarding a response. Khunts

(Sun 20th Mar 2016, 16:34, More)
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