b3ta.com user scazy_lumbag
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21 years old, currently living in Leeds


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» Food sabotage

At School
My mate offered me a jelly bean.

"What a nice act of generosity" I thought.

It had an unusual rubbery texture, but I shrugged it off and took a bite anyway.

The bean burst and my mouth was showered with a disgusting fishy liquid.

Turns out what he had done was bring a load of cod liver oil tablets into school, and placed them in an empty bag of sweets he had bought.

Took me forever to get rid of the taste.
(Sat 20th Sep 2008, 11:28, More)

» Food sabotage

Hide the turd
A favourite story of one my ex housemates. Its one of those "friend of a friend" ones, but I believe it to be true.

A friend of my housemate was at a fairly uneventful party once, and everyone was getting pretty drunk. At a particularly dull point in the night, someone suggested that they play "Hide the Turd" In which one person takes a shit, and somehow (I'm not sure how) transports it into a hiding place somewhere in the house, and the other people have to try and find it. There are some lovely people around. So this person has a turd, hides it somewhere in the house, and the others start looking all over for it. But they can't find it anywhere, and eventually give up.

The party eventually ends, turd still hidden, and everyone forgets about it.. Until a few weeks later when the mother of the person whos house party it was, makes some sandwiches, and when scraping some butter from the tub, notices the butter becomes brown halfway down.

Turns out the guy who hid the turd, took the butter out of the tub, put his turd in, and then put the butter back on top! Genius.
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 16:44, More)

» Helicopter Parents

Over-protection gone mad
A lad I know was once made by his parents to take a personal fire alarm with him when he spent the night round a friends house.

He was 16.

Poor guy.

Also, he wasn't allowed to join us at the cinema once because he was setting off a bit late driving and his mum didn't want him to drive fast to get there in time. He was 19 then..

Oh and when he was still in primary school his mum used to make him get changed as soon as he got back home, so she could wash his uniform... just in case he came into any contact with dog shit on the way back.

Nice guy though.
(Sun 13th Sep 2009, 19:58, More)