b3ta.com user ingus mcfly
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» Food sabotage

Hard Cakes!!!!
I used to work for a certain (no longer existing) car credit company with the annoying advert with a rather fit looking young lady dressed in yellow and green.

As you can imagine it was not the busiest of offices due to the reputation (thanks to the BBC). So it was pranks ahoy in there.

One Saturday afternoon it dorned on us that pretty much everyone in the office was suffering from paranoia, checking their phones for boot polich or hair gel, making sure we had not filled the heater fans in their cars with the contents of all whole punchers in the office and switched them to "on" so that when they started the car up the whole car was filled with this ever lasting white covering.

So it was decisded that we were to target the "other staff", by this we meant the valleters. As you can imagine these were not the sharpest tools in the box, but we knoew they were up for a laff and would not take things too personally.

However we decided to up the anti with this plan.

One of us (he did not tell us the reason why he had this) had a stash of Viagra gel in his car. So we decided to (as normal on a saturday) get the cakes in for the afternoon. One of which we decided was to be an exceedingly good apple pie. This was great to disguise the viagra gel.

So we got hold of one of those mix your own colour paint syringes and pumped the pie full of vigra gel, knowing that only half was enough to keep you "up" all night.

passed the cakes round like usualand there were of course 2 left for the valeters, knowing one of them was a little bit weird and sleazy at times we made sure that he ate the apple pie.

A little over an hour later this valeter came into the office wearing the longest duffle coat he could find and he was beetroot red and looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

Trying to hold our faces straght we asked if was ok, it turned out that in the vlet office there was a stash of selected top shelf mags that were "read" during lunch and the vlaeter thought that it was gods way of punnishing him for being filthy as he was looking at the mags that lunch and the consequences were still around for all to see the next morning when he came in to open up.

I don't think he ever went near a fiesta or an escort ever again.


I could not bear to look but the girls in the office said was nothing to shout about!!
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 11:44, More)

» Common

keeper rings
nuff said
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 17:52, More)

» Common

Common is ......
Someone making an insurance claim for a PS3 but due to stocking issues the replacement was delayed, the person tried to calim for money to send her son to the cinema for something to do! do we nbot have the inteligence to entertain ourselves for free? Parks? Walks? Bike ride? Board Games? Talking? or is it just me who thinks this way
(Fri 17th Oct 2008, 17:44, More)

» Food sabotage

Having remebered my previous story, this one came to mind, not really to do with this QOTW but still funny none the less................

One of the sales staff was the most naive person you ever met.

One day he came in an said that his mrs had shaved off all his pubes the night before (he was one of those people who got the P!ss taken out of him all the time as he provided all of the ammunition)

in respnse it was mentioned with concern that he should exfoliate to prevent in growing hairs.

His response "ok i'll put some Swarfega on it later!!"

All blokes in the office winced away in thought of the pain!

We were all made redundant that day so never knew if he actually did it as no one had the heart to tell him!!


No much after that I guess
(Tue 23rd Sep 2008, 12:10, More)