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» Family codes and rituals

The Whistle
My Father, the legend that he is, trained myself and sibling into responding to a whistle (him whistling not an actual whistle).

When he whistled in a particular manner we'd stop what we were doing to locate parents. This could be in a shop/park/theme park/leisure centre etc. We didn't really think this was strange for the majority of our childhood.

It wasn't until we went on a family outing, sibling and I were in our 20's at the time, we'd strolled off to grab a beer/smoke a fag/look in the pond (delete as appropriate), father whistled and like a pair of dogs we stood up straight, ears pricked and set off in the direction of the whistle. A number of chavlike creatures were huddled together and made some "really witty" remarks as we passed. Glancing at each other we jointly realised, with some humiliation, that we had been trained like dogs! Poor father received a severe telling off and threat of no further grandchildren.

Length - still trying?
(Fri 21st Nov 2008, 13:21, More)

» "You're doing it wrong"

Not me but a friend of mine . . . .
I used to fancy this guy, let's call him Gary for that is his name. Gary was a glazier. My best friend, Zoe, and I used to hang about and chat about guys and stuff and I told her about Gary The Glazier and my mahoosive crush on him (he used to look like Dermot O'Leary*)! Months and months later we saw him in town and in a very girly way I said "Oooooh, it's him! It's Gary Black (for that is his full name)!", "Who?" said a confused Zoe. "Gary! Gary Black! The Gary! You know, Gary The Glazier!", She started looking even more confused, eyebrow lifting etc. "Why do you keep saying Gary Black?" she asked. Starting to get confused myself I said "Um, because that's his name. . .", "I thought his name was Gary Iglesias, you know, like Enrique". Doh!

My own stupid fault for giving all my acquaintances nicknames.

*He no longer looks like Dermot O'Leary, more like Homer Simpson.
(Mon 19th Jul 2010, 13:57, More)

» Old stuff I still know

This is a story all about how . . . .
I still remember all the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Belair theme tune.
(Tue 5th Jul 2011, 16:29, More)

» Sexism

Listening, and retaining information heard, seems to be a huge area of difference between the sexes. It's a fundamental part of the female skill set that can reflect negatively on the males that are unable to both listen, accurately interpret and retain information. This week's QOTW has helped me to appreciate that this could be one of those genetic differences between men and women and I shouldn't, perhaps, become cross about it.

I have, however, told him four f***ing times and written it down . . . .

Length, not applicable in this case.
(Mon 28th Dec 2009, 8:32, More)

» The Best / Worst thing I've ever eaten

Deep fried haggis.

(Thu 26th May 2011, 15:13, More)
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