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living with The Dictator
Well we started off ok. We managed 3 days living together.

She had been my best friend for 10 years so we thought living together would be a piece of piss. We collared another girl to live with us so we could get a nice 3 bedroom house. The Dictator (As she is now known) decided to take the big ensuite room, to be honest at the time i didnt really care as i had a nice room downstairs so i was happy.

On the second evening girl number 3 cooked dinner for all of us. The dictator began to tell us her kitchen regime when it comes to washing up.

Green Cloth - Plates and bowls
Yellow Cloth - Cutlery
Blue Cloth - Wiping down the surfaces
Pink cloth - Wipe over the hob when you're done cooking
Blue Sponge - Everything else in between.

She then went on to explain all the different types of bleach and cleaning fluid she had bought for us to use daily. Considering i had known this girl for 10 years and after seeing the shit hole she lived in with her parents (literally a hole of shit, i swear they NEVER cleaned their house) i was surprised at how eager she was to keep the place ship shape.

For a second i thought she was joking until i actually realised this fantastic rainbow of cleaning accoutrements was laid out around our communal sink. Jokingly i pointed out that i moved away from home to escape my mother, not to move in with a carbon copy of the woman who birthed me and her strange cleaning equiptment. I jokingly called her a Kitchen Nazi, with a vendetta against germs, which was pretty much true.

So we finished up the meal and all disappeard to our respective rooms to study. A few hours later i get a knock on my door. The Dictator informs me that shes going home to her mothers for a few nights, but will text me when shes coming back.

That was 6 months ago.

She deleted me off of Facebook without even a explanation as to why she was ignoring me. We had a good laugh about that at the pub. Needless to say we changed the locks about a week after she disappeard.

Somewhere in-between she collected her stuff from the house. I arranged a replacement housemate, so we had been packing The Dictators belongings into boxes for a while before she collected them. Delicatly drawing small discreet swasticas on the occasional box of cereal, on the back of her t-shirts and work clothes. Not to mention stealing half of her stuff .....Just for a laugh. And there was this one time that we ran out of loo roll...

Makes me wonder if she washed any of her clothes after she got them back. haha not that i care. She did screw us over by not giving us her share of the bill money, but it was deffinatly worth paying it out of my own pocket just to see the back of her and her dictatorship.

And now she lives in another city with my scrounging low-life ex boyfriend - if you ask me they make a beautiful couple :) and one day they will have cute little herpes babies.
(Tue 3rd Mar 2009, 22:35, More)