b3ta.com user Sextant goes to him
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After inventing the internet, I retired to bed for the evening.
The next day, I spent my morning clearing the spam from my email. I replied to a gentleman's request for fellatio, with pictures, or it didn't happen.

The previous week was spent water skiing with a braddock twin stuffed down my long johns, which only days prior had been monks.

In the unlikely event of fire, I shut off my gas main, and threw a quid at an octopus, who for some untold reason had decided that the life of a seaman was not for him. Several, episodes of Monty Python prequels later, I discovered that it was in fact not a comma, which unbeknownest to the lord of the livery was now illegal in 8 of the 10 capital areas, but the hitherto unbekempt question mark, signifying nothing.

This was too much for poor Jake to bear, so he ate the remaining jaffa cakes, and sold the whole sordid story to the Mirror for a tenner and a six pack of Scrumpy's finest. The lord mayor did have it on good authority, and whose authority begged to be questioned, that the said lump was indeed a maladiction foisted upon the working classes by the malignant new Labour thatcherites who had surplanted the un-usurped junior revolutionairies deemed by the false consitution of Queen Anne to be the legitimate heads of the now defunct state church of The Chuch of England. Mais, apres le jeune de jeunesse il faut avoir, peut-etre, trouver les choses que le signe de dimanche a mange' avant de choisir le son peche. De temps en temps, les autres (qui je ne les aime jamais) ont fu un petit mystere in cui abbiamo trovato la sola cosa che les francienes sont justified in making their own false accusations.

But that's not for here.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Annoying words and phrases

Merkin IT land which brought us this pervasive offence:

English or English (UK).

When what they mean is:

Merkin or English
(Fri 9th Apr 2010, 12:21, More)

» B3ta Person of the Year 2010

Piers Morgan
For uniting the world in one cause: hating Piers Morgan.
(Thu 16th Dec 2010, 11:16, More)

» Amazing displays of ignorance

The number of people who believe the world was created in 7 days in mind boggling.

Clearly it was 6 days, because on the seventh he rested.
(Sun 21st Mar 2010, 2:44, More)

» Neighbours

Second! Yay!
I used to watch Neighbours all the time....

..Until the magistrate told me to stop.
(Thu 1st Oct 2009, 12:47, More)

» The Police II

Do you have a police record?
No, but I have a Sting album.

Apologies, it was funny when I was 12...
(Fri 6th May 2011, 16:42, More)
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