b3ta.com user smellysamlyingcable
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Profile for smellysamlyingcable:
Profile Info:

Size? Billions of atoms, each one a galaxy in itself...

Recent front page messages:

Does your capacitive load purr?

(Wed 18th Jun 2014, 21:38, More)

Too eassy.

Click for bigger (184 kb)

Yet must be done.
(Sun 1st Jun 2014, 10:44, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Corruption

Back in the day "wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines "
My company was hired by a major eyeglass company, lets call it "Wolf and Furry Alien"...

They had a major problem with their "works" department;
essentially shops were costing twice a much as the industry level, taking twice as long to build and were shoddy monstrosities.
We had no idea why they had stuck so long with their contractor under these conditions.

Anyhows, my boss signed on the doted line and I was hired.
I was dispatched to work in their head offices in err, Lutecia.
What I fond there was incompetence beyond belief, butt protecting of the level only a Westboro Baptist in a gay nude bubble bath party would contemplate.
To compound this, everybody had made it a professional level sport to have their finger in every minute little thing to be able to prance about their success when things worked and point fingers when it did not.

Needless to say after a week I negotiated to only have two people in the whole firm to be even allowed to talk to me in the corridors, much less ENTER my office.

This is when I learned that the company was run by the secretaries and assistants.
The MBA's were basically peacocks prancing on the corridor carpet.
But that's another story.

"wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines wavy lines "

Two years later, we had gotten the costs down by a whopping 70%, shops openings had gone from 10/15 a year to the 40/70 range.
They were pretty, well made, on time, and outsold the older ones by a very large margin (nearly 2/1).

But alass, on day, the big honcho (with more than 500 MILLION Euros to his name, tax paid, in err, can't tell you more) calls my boss over.

He wants cash, in a briefcase, in this office, lots of it, next week.

My boss then proceeds to tell Honcho that's it's not possible.
The reason we could do such great prices is very very tight accounting and relieving that of a 6 figure sum would be highly visible and land him in jail.

No, sell your car, your kids, your house, I wants cash, in a briefcase, in this office, lots of it, next week replied Honcho.

Bos says no.

We get kicked out on the spot.

Have to sue to get our fees paid (took 3 years).

And Honcho hires back the Daftey and Wafty firm from the beginning of the story.
Probably not for their competence,
But for their ability to kick briefcases under tables with a leaden foot.
(Fri 4th Jul 2014, 8:32, More)

» Near Death Experiences II

Bike crash
Dark night.
On a bike path going home.
Sudden glare of a 125cc scooter going the wrong way and on a path that is verboden to him.
He does not even try to do anything to avoid the impact.
I turn, braking is futile, but only manage to partially avoid him.

I go "through" the front of scooter but my leg catches the steering column.
Breaking it.

I bounce off, over a curb into the path a Range that stops inches from me.

My bike is flung about 20m for the impact... Twisted and the fork broken. The two wheels bent like sick pretzels.

Cue to the insurance not wishing to prosecute the case on my behalf.

Still angry.
(Thu 15th May 2014, 20:24, More)

» Hidden talents

I can speak English adequately.
Rare for a frog.
(Sun 20th Apr 2014, 8:37, More)

» Why I Love/Hate Britain

Tea, scones...
... and whipped cream.
(Thu 3rd Oct 2013, 15:13, More)

» Sorry

I'm French
So sorry.
(Thu 17th Jan 2013, 15:07, More)
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