b3ta.com user StinkyCheeseMan
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My profile shows how big my nose really is.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Stalking through the wasteland, wielding a mighty sword, cometh StinkyCheeseMan! And he gives a cruel bellow:

"I'm going to fuck you until Amnesty International campaigns against it!!"

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Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Recent front page messages:

Hauling rock at Easter Island
was cost prohibitive.

(Sat 11th Oct 2003, 12:04, More)


...eventually pursued a career in plastics.
(Sun 2nd Mar 2003, 20:16, More)

Best answers to questions:

» The Boss

My boss is a cunt
But that's Ok. I'm a dick. It's a symbiotic relationship.
(Sat 20th Jun 2009, 13:28, More)

» Have you ever seen a dead body?

Road Trip
While attending the University of Connecticut I decided to hitchhike to Florida for Spring break. Late at night near New Bohemia, Virginia I get picked up by a man driving a station wagon. We chatted up a little. I told him where I was coming from and where I was heading. Eventually he had to stop for fuel. When he got out of the vehicle I turned and looked in the back. There was a gurney with what appeared to be a body covered by a sheet. After he got back in I asked "Is that what I think it is back there?" "What?" he says. "Is that a body?" "Yes." He proceeds to tell me that he is a deliveryman for the local funeral home directors' association. It's a boring job so he likes to pick up hitchhikers to keep him company. YIKES! I couldn't fall asleep until two nights later when I was finally in Florida.
(Fri 29th Feb 2008, 18:53, More)

» The Police

Georgia on my mind
During our carefree, sobriety-free college days, Dave, Jim and I decided that a drive to Florida would be a good idea. Since we were young and knew everything we knew that driving through Georgia at 90mph would get us there rather quick. Unbeknowst to us the Georgia troopers are ever on the lookout for cars with northern plates, especially ones that are going faster than 56 in a 55. It wasn't long before we were being persued by the local gendarme. We knew that the best course of action was to pull over. The cop approached the car wearing his broad brimmed hat and mirrored sunglasses. Jim, sitting in the back seat, looks at him and starts laughing saying that the guy looks like something out of "Cool Hand Luke."
The cop strolls up to the window and asks, "Boy, do you know how fast you were going?"
Dave, who was driving at the time, replies "I guess we were speeding."
"Boy, you were doing 92 in a 55."
We were all silent.
The officer states, "Boy, nobody goes through Georgia that fast."
Jim, ever the joker and never knowing when to keep his mouth shut, suddenly remembers his US history and pipes up "Sherman did!"
The officer has us get out of the car. He thoroughly searches the vehicle and finds nothing illegal. He begins to give us a stern lecture on safe driving.
At this point, Jim has had enough of the cop's antics and asks him, "What is your problem? Did you go to prick school?" The cop just stares at him. At least we thought he was behind those mirrored glasses.
"Graduate cum laude?"
"What did you say son?"
"Did you go to prick school or did somebody piss on your donut this morning?" are Jim's final words before the cop makes us pile into the back of his car. He drives us to the local station where we are forced to spend the night in a cell while they do a "background check" on us. We all had clean records (at the time) and were finally released in the morning.
(Sat 24th Sep 2005, 14:57, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

Quantum Leap
The episode when he returns in his body as himself as a young boy and he gets another chance to talk to his brother who was killed in Viet Nam.

It made me sob especially since the first time I saw it I was watching it alone. That and the memory of watching the fire department and medics trying to extricate my brother from his car. He was airlifted to the hospital and died on the way.

Every time that I see that episode the waterworks open up.
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 11:40, More)

» Office Christmas Parties

If you want to call it a party
The extent of our Christmas "party" is a catered lunch on the premises. So that means no alcohol and back to work when you're done eating.

Christmas bonuses or gifts? Bah. We do a "Secret Santa." Once I had to get a gift for someone from another department that I didn't know. I chose not to join in the "festivities" since then.

The bright side is that I run our department and we're left to our own devices. For the past two years for the Christmas "party" we've gone out for lunch and I've told everyone in my department to take the rest of the day off!

A few years ago our department got several bottles of wine from a supplier. (I didn't let anyone know.) I called a safety meeting. Once everyone was gathered around I passed out the bottles and told everyone "Have a safe Christmas. Now GO HOME."
(Thu 16th Dec 2004, 18:27, More)
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