b3ta.com user tickle
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hip hop music

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» Buses

i was on the bus.
the high pitched girls at the back were adding new mobile phone tones to the dulcet shrieks that were already causing other passengers to look back up the bus at them and tut. i sat calmly hoping they would notice the air of disapproval and settle down, however the little harridans only got louder.

right i thought. i pulled my mini-loudhailer (£30 from maplin) out of my bag turned round and said in my loudest voice, "we all have new toys we want to play with but have some consideration for the other people on the bus".

it was the first and only time i had seen anything shut up back-of-the-bus-teenage-skank type girls. and even then only for about 5 minutes.

loudhailers- everybody should have one.
(Thu 25th Jun 2009, 15:36, More)

» Drugs

there are lots of methods of getting drugs into your system.
take e for instance. in pill form you can ingest it (tame), crush and insufflate it (for fast acting sobriety relief) and i've even seen people smoke them in bongs (though i'm not sure how effective that is).

also a guy i know put an ecky up his bottom once and said he had a thoroughly enjoyable experience, with the initial effect starting in his posterior and making it's way up his spine.

but it turns out (and if i hadn't been in the bog at the time of my mate doing this i would have pointed it out) that putting crushed e in your eye isn't the most comfy way to go about getting your gurn on.

from the nick of him and his wittering i'd say that you definitely get pretty wasted but there is the double drawback of what appeared to be an awful lot of pain and some fairly anxiety provoking temporary blindness.
(Fri 17th Sep 2010, 23:55, More)

» My Saviour

when i was 15 i used to smoke spliffs out the skylight with my mate
we used to have to take it in turns to lean right out to stop the horrid stench of the plastic ridden soapbar getting us into shit. puffing away one day i dropped the spliff. as the badly built bifter rapidly rolled down the roof of the three storey building i lunged instinctively. i slid on to the roof and as my knees passed lip of the skylight i started to think oh fuck. my mate grabbed my lower legs and hauled me back up. if he'd not been there or if he'd not reacted i reckon i'd have been all mashed up at best or dead. nice one.
(Fri 10th May 2013, 0:33, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

i wander round facebook groups
with a foetus in the womb as my profile picture, begging christians to abort me...
(Fri 12th Dec 2008, 12:06, More)

» The B3ta Cookbook

easy chicken kebab. best effort to tasty ratio so far discovered.
chop up chicken breast and bowlify it. olive oil. lots. lemon juice. lots. garlic. some. paprika. little. salt. pepper. marinade as long as you can be arsed to. fry until awesome. stick in warm pittas with houmous and chopped cherry tomatoes. eat.
(Wed 4th Jul 2012, 18:24, More)
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