» Cringe!

Love your load
Relatively new to my place of work of only 3 weeks in, I've been signed up to a manual handling course. Thinking it was all easy and won't last that long, I happily attended and thought nothing much of it.

The guy who signed me up for it had a good saying/name/quote for this course: "Love your box". This is because the way we are trained we have to hold the box as if we were hugging someone around their waist, literally.

The training wasn't so bad, with the trainer being quite a nice lady in her 30s. I had a few other collegues with me too, I think 5-6 in total.

I was dead wrong however with the training, it lasted for 3 hours and we went through a lot of scientific shit on the bones and stuff.

Needless to say, I was bored shitless and falling asleep/losing it, but when it finally ended the guy who signed us all up came in and had a chat with the trainer. After the short chatter, as we were getting ready to leave, he says to everyone

"Anyone remember the quote?"

I responded instantly (because I wanted to flee, fast) quite loud so everyone can hear with:

"Yeh, love your load."

The room went quiet temporarily, maybe for 2-3 seconds. I suddenly realised what I said and went slightly red. The lady trainer laughed too and so did a few others, but with a slight face of disgust.

I quickly explained I was thinking of the American term for "luggage" (like the back of a trailer/truck) but I think it was too late. My guy who arranged it kinda laughed but for some reason was more serious about it and left the room.

Well I returned to the office alone (I went in the loo to cool off temporarily and to stop bursting into laughter). That guy saw me again and went up to me and said:

"It's ok to love your own load, but another man's? Ewww."

I smiled nodded and decided to keep quiet for the remainder of the day.

:(
(Fri 28th Nov 2008, 9:37, More)

» School Days

Wayne King
We had a person named Benjamin King in our year, and somehow it was revealed his dad was called Wayne. It didn't help the fact his first name was Ben(jamin).

This lasted 6 years and NEVER got unfunny, especially when done at the most in-appropiate times:

Someone in the room will shout, in an annoying voice "Wayne" (emphasising the -yne bit) and someone in the opposite side of the room will end it with "King". Or someone one will "B.J" and then someone will go "King".

Often if people need to speak to him, people will go up to him and say his name "Wayne (or B.J) King" really fast and then proceed to mock him or take the piss out of his other spots.

I totally do not blame him if he comes in and shoots us all in a reunion event if it happens in the future.
(Wed 4th Feb 2009, 14:59, More)

» Things we do to fit in

Church
In my middle school (8 years old to 11) I used be friends with this girl but we went our seperate ways after the 11+ exam, me going to some loser school while she went to some prestigious girls school.

Fast forward 5 years on when I got a job at the local super market, she got a job there shortly after I did as well, but unfortunately our shifts only overlapped by 1 hour, so I never got to properly catch up with her. And my god, people change so much 5 years on and I never saw ber as attractive until then.

So one day she tells me she goes to this church on Sunday (Christian) and asked me to go too. Me thinking it's an excellent opportunity to see her regularly, accepted the offer without thinking twice.

So I went to this church (it was nice, people were lovely and I helped out around a lot, and also it was very laid back and took place in a rented hall, rather than a proper church) every Sunday without fail, hoping I'll see her.

Over maybe 12 months or so, I saw her maybe twice? I eventually gave up and looked less forward to going each Sunday (my fucking sleep, damnit) but soon they tried to convert me into a Christian. I manage to get out of the question/offer a few times.

I ran away soon after and left them hanging with a "I'll think about it...". By then I went to uni and never saw much of this girl again, however I did chat to her parents regularly and every now and then I do bump into her parents (around town) but not her. She's always "somewhere else".

I never went back.

That's the last time I'll do something to fit in.
(Tue 20th Jan 2009, 9:23, More)

» Procrastination

*farts*
About 4 years ago I said I'd register on b3ta to comment and post funny stories. I never got around to it.

I finally did it yesterday, and am able to post... today.
(Tue 18th Nov 2008, 10:26, More)