b3ta.com user JennaTaylor
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» Cringe!

Whilst away on a hostel trip at the tender age of 17 I made the foolish error of eating only fruit cups and jelly for a full week (there weren't many vegetarian cheap foods).
As a result, a nasty bout of constipation gripped me, and after a few days of intense discomfort, I just had to go to the doctor.

I live in a small town, so seeing the doctor, who lives on my street, about this was embarrassing enough, I thought. How wrong I was: apparently a full body examination was required for my symptoms.
Again, intense red-faced shame. Just as I had rezipped and vowed never to tell anyone of this, the offending nurse turned from her desk, looked me straight in the eyes and uttered:
"By the way, dear, you've got lovely labia".

I think I ran, and to this day I ponder what on earth the right reply to that would have been
(Wed 3rd Dec 2008, 5:10, More)

» First World Problems

Not just a first world problem, but I bet they don't whine about it so much in poverty-stricken countries...
Balls. I understand that getting kicked or hit in the balls must hurt a lot. However, it seems like you can hardly brush past, or accidentally gently tap the genital area of a man without him recoiling in "pain". If it's that bad, just wear a cup and be done with it!

And FYI getting hit in the boob is fucking painful too.
(Sat 3rd Mar 2012, 22:38, More)

» Drunk Shopping

Woke up in the next morning
to a purchase confirmation email for Hefner-style satin bed linen, in purple.

They were alright in the end, slippery as hell though.
(Sat 12th Apr 2014, 2:00, More)

» First World Problems

I have to walk past homeless people making the effort not to look directly at them or breath in their scent as I pass.
(Sun 4th Mar 2012, 23:16, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

In my naive youth
I used to give food to homeless people. Nothing fancy, I'd usually just buy a multi-pack of chocolate bars (rockies, kitkats etc) and hand those out.
One day I was strolling along merrily and spied a likely looking hobo, complete with blankets, filthy paper cup etc. I popped a kitkat down onto the hat in front of him and started to walk away when he started shouting at the top of his voice. It was mostly incomprehensible, but I heard a very distinctive "What the FUCK is this?" as he hurled the bar into oncoming traffic, looking and acting as though someone had shat on him, rather than given him food.

Although it wasn't really an evil act, it scared the shit out me at the time, and since then I've never given food to the homeless, not because I think all homeless people are like that (I know they're not) but because, well, once bitten twice shy.
(Mon 20th Feb 2012, 0:07, More)
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