» Siblings

Father's Occupation
'What's your father's occupation?' asked my school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.
'He's a magician, Miss.' I said.
'How interesting. What's his favourite trick?'
'He saws people in half.'
'Gosh! now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?'
'One half brother and two half sisters.'


/coat
(Tue 30th Dec 2008, 13:57, More)

» Unemployed

Thanks Nan
I flunked my first first year at university, leaving around mid January. My girlfriend of four years had left me and I was in a bit of a state. Some would describe it akin to being an absolute pussy, and they'd be right.

Months of sleeping in and being throuoghly unproductive just amplified my depression. Then my Nan died in May.

Not being very close to my Nan I volunteered to write and present the Eulogy in order to get to know her better and connect with her at some level. This gave me focus.

We held the wake at a fabulous restaurant in Worcestershire. Speaking to the owner / executive Chef about the menu for the day it became apparant he was looking for a junior Chef. I've always had a passion for cooking so I let him know I was looking for work.

Low and behold a week or so after my Nan's funeral I got a call informing me I could have a trial at the restaurant. I passed and worked there until I retook my first year in October.

It was the best therapy a young man could wish for. It was like working with a bunch of pirates where a simple mistake (like burning a Soufle) would result in something like a gangland murder trial in a warehouse. Couple that with zealous camaraderie; copious amounts of hard drugs, women and alcohol on an almost nightly basis; it soon rid me of any despression and was the best possible preperation for university.

I've always worked since the age of sixteen, paying my way through college and uni. I'm now nearing the end of a work placement with one of them evil investment banks and have an offer of permanent employment after graduation.

Signing on during those four months between Uni and Cheffing was humiliating and depressing. One sympathises with those stuck in a rut.

Thank you Nan for giving me the best job I could have had and kickstarting my university career.
(Mon 6th Apr 2009, 14:05, More)

» Addicted

Ballroom Dancing
Yes, that's right. I'm a dancing machine. I love getting my groove on with the ladies.

All the sequins and fake tan is not in the least bit addictive...

Actually the only reason I do it is because it's the only way members of the opposite sex will converse with me. I'm such a virgin.
(Mon 22nd Dec 2008, 16:23, More)

» God

I'm so so sos so so
glad that this is QOTW.

I had to go to a Christian dinner on Friday night. Very nice it was up until the point the 'special guest' got up to preach to us about why he's a Christian.

He asserted that there is historical evidence that Jesus existed. I almost left there and then. Sadly everyone else seemed to lap it up.

Sometimes I feel isolated in my Atheism, but this QOTW has reaffirmed my belief that there are lots of people out there with sensible opinions.

Thank you b3tans.
(Tue 24th Mar 2009, 15:39, More)