b3ta.com user Mister_E_Meat
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Male. Older than you'd think, younger looking than you'd expect. Probably.

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» Annoying words and phrases

"borrow me"
Illiterate cunts. "I want to borrow" or "would you lend me".
Fuck off you skank. Aaaaaaghhhhh!
(Fri 9th Apr 2010, 9:21, More)

» Celebrities part II

Motorhead madness
Long, long ago....Me & my mate once spent the day backstage with Motorhead & Girlschool. We had a great time , Lemmy force-fed us Southern Comfort & the bands were larking about. Philthy Animal Taylor had a pair of comedy plastic norks which I put on my head & broke the elastic. Phil wasn't best pleased that he had been de-norked :(

Also got hit over the head with a megaphone by Hawkwind's Bob Calvert.
Happy days.
(Fri 9th Oct 2009, 9:21, More)

» Public Sex

Foot & mouth & other bits
2001, Foot & Mouth or whatever ravaging the countryside, meeting up with a "larger lady" off off the internet. After some preliminary get to know you / you aren't an axe murderer are you? type of stuff we jump in my car to have a pootle round & see what happens. Fucksocks, the car park I have in mind is locked to stop tourists spreading cow death. OK, mist is coming down quite quickly & there's a layby. OK, stop, lets's see....
Hands touch, lips touch, she hauls up her skirt revealing red lace panties, legs half spread. At the first touch of her mound she moaned. My fingers caress the mound through the now wet gusset, finding her pleasure bud and bringing her to a ringing climax. Great, into the back seats we get. She know a few tunes to play on the pink oboe, then it was her turn again...... and a troop of walkers (yes they were out in fog & rain with the countryside shut) approached the car. Then started rubbing on the steamed-up windows to see what was going on.
"That's disgusting" we heard.....
A few minutes a police car stops opposite - oh shit! But they just glance at the car, probably making sure it wasn't nicked, then off they went. Wahaay! We figure we may as well carry on, which we did for quite a while. Finally it was back to town & a big box of ribs & chips - naughties makes me hungry :)

She told me later she liked "risky" sex, and once did it in the middle of Sainsburys car park on a busy shopping day.

Sorry for length, she was grateful for it.
(Fri 24th Apr 2009, 13:01, More)

» School Days

First post so be gentle :)

Bit of a chemistry theme here I'm afraid. School. 1977. A-level Chemistry. Me - Swotty McGoody-Goody. Experimenting with sodium in water - produces hydrogen in a fun, fizzy way. But what happens when you put sodium into hydrochloric acid? The answer was - violent fizz, duck below desk level and BANG! Glass & chemical cocktail everywhere. Nice :D

Find the metallic element in a variety of compounds using standard tests. One salt I found contained either iron or nickel (I found out later this was all I needed to determine). Mixed salt with magnesium powder & saltpetre, in a tube over a hot bunsen burner. BOOM! A claggy mass stuck to the ceiling, glass embedded in the bench top with a bit of rusty-coloured residue. Iron!

Chemistry club (told you I was swotty). Made an organic compound alluringly called 3-nitrobenzene 1-2 dicarboxylic acid. A major component of the smell of vomit apparently. Painted on 6th form head's door handle. Return from summer hols to a carpeting - he couldn't get the smell off for 3 weeks LOLZ!

Chem club again. Made picric acid - a highly unstable substance used in detonators & has to be kept under water. In a sealed bottle. Last I heard it had to be disposed of by the army as it was deemed to dangerous to risk opening the bottle in case some got caught in the lid & friction set it off.

Oh, happy days :D

Apolologies for length but not the explosions.
(Fri 30th Jan 2009, 7:25, More)

» Messing With Their Head

...around here innit?
(Thu 16th Apr 2015, 15:29, More)
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