b3ta.com user Galahad
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» Asking people out

Girls can be so cruel...
I used to live in a Suffolk town where going rollerskating every weekend was pretty much the only thing to do as a 13 yr old, and also a good way to be allowed to stay out on a Friday night until..ooooh....at least 9:30pm.

My friend and I saved for our own skates so we didn't have to hire the crappy brown ones and thought we were Kings amongst men. I'd had my eye on this girl who we saw there most weeks for a while and judging by the huddled giggles her friends and her shared everytime I skated past, she/they had noticed.

One night after a particularly successful game of 'train' I stood beside the rink having a much needed coke feeling rather like 'the man'. Suddenly her and her 'cackle' of friends approached - obviously impressed I thought by my skills. I tried to remain cool as they got closer.

"Would you like to go out with me?" she said. I GULPED and tried not to let my weak knees give way to the wheels attached to my feet.

"Yes" I replied, probably a little (lot) too eagerly.

"That's a shame" she said through the beginnings of a laugh. "I wouldn't like to go out with you!". Upon which point her and her friends fell about laughing. As did the crowd of 'mates' who were standing with me.

About 5 years later when we had all grown tall and old enough, we relocated these nights out to the nightclub next door. Skating was for kids - pretending we were on drugs and raving like mentals was where it was at. As I was cutting shapes with my friends I noticed a girl watching me with a group of friends at the side of the dancefloor. "Shit", I thought, "That's her and she's all grown up".

Ambling up to her I smiled and asked. "Would you like to dance with me?" She looked at her friends, who gave her not too subtle encouragement.

"Yes" she replied (a bit, no a LOT too eagerly - or so I like to remember). "That's a shame" I replied, "I wouldn't like to dance with you". I'll never forget the look of embarassment, realisation, and anger crossing her face.

Now, given at this point I was 18 - it was a little sad, and given that she was a cracker, not just a little bit of a wasted opportunity. However, I think I enjoyed my revenge more than any grope of her big tits on the comfy sofas at the back.*

* May not be true.

Apologies for length - If I can hold a petty grudge for 5 years..what did you expect?
(Fri 11th Dec 2009, 12:51, More)

» Anonymous

M Khan is bent.
Wasn't me.
(Fri 15th Jan 2010, 11:15, More)

» Dodgy work ethics

I worked at McDonald's
For about 2 weeks of my gap year between 6th Form and going to Uni. The boss asked me to wank into the shakes to make them 'thick-shakes', so I put my headphones on and set about myself, and then when I opened my eyes I found out that my Mum had walked in and left a big mac on the side.
(Tue 12th Jul 2011, 10:46, More)

» Call Centres

Absolutely nothing to do with this QOTW
May I just say anyone who is whining like they just lost their hymen over spelling and punctuation winds me right up.

OK, if something isn't readable, simply pass it by. I just thought we were here to enjoy tales of misadventure and misanthropy, not do a fucking English exam.

Bite me.
(Sun 6th Sep 2009, 10:49, More)

» Tramps

I knew a hobo once - probably saw him once or twice a week back in the 80's. He was quite little, but had big ears that stuck out.

Thing is despite him being a hobo he spent his life padding around helping others.

One day I said to him, why don't you stick around? Make a home for yourself...

His reply "There's a voice that keeps on calling me. Down the road is where I'll always be..."

(Tue 7th Jul 2009, 9:27, More)
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