b3ta.com user TheProfessor
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Hmmmm.Do people actually read these?

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» Caught!

Sadly not a story about being caught behind the bike sheds with the cute English teacheress but rather something more nerdy.

Being a bit of a smarty swot some lessons used to get quite boring and one GSCE German lesson was no exception.
This was back in the days of fountain pens and hoarder that I am I kept the used ones in my pencil case. Anyways, this German lesson was going over stuff I already knew (and have now forgotten) and just seemed to drag so I took to playing around with the spent cartridges in my pencil case.
After a while I hit upon building little towers and building from the cartridges and other things such as staple boxes and pencils. I was so totally absorbed that a good few minutes went by before I realised the entire room had gone silent. I look up to see everyone staring at me and Ms Hughes the German Teacher with a raised eyebrow. I look down at the impressive cathedral of ink cartridges and stuff and embarrassingly dismantle it muttering "entschuldigung".

For weeks after everyone would look over at me everytime I opened my pencil case, and occasionally I would get requests.

Length: well, it covered a third of the desk
(Tue 8th Jun 2010, 13:18, More)

» Conspiracy theory nutters

Conspiracy of the tin foilers!
Ignore all that malarkey about cabals releasing microwaves to control your brain and that tinfoil stops them.

It's all a LIE sent out by the manufacturers (Baco etc) to increase their profits!
(Sat 29th Aug 2009, 10:47, More)

» Ginger

I am Barbarossa!
The men in my family can all grow gingery beards. I've been growing mine out lately as one of my theatre traditions (don't ask..)
It's apparently all down to my great grandad marrying a fiery Irish redhead.
And redbeardedness is also supposed to be quite common.
I've also got a bit of red in my, um, "pleasure patch".

My latest niece is of the ginger persuasion and is quite cute with it. I'm readying my arsenal though for when she attends school and the ginger-prejudice begins.

I've always been very attracted to the redheaded woman too. Not sure why but when ever I see a nice attractive ginge my brain tends to dribble out my ears ;-).

rgds Prof

Length: quite thick and itchy now
(Fri 26th Feb 2010, 16:16, More)

» Flirting

Oh my
I'm absolutely awful at flirting (oddly like most of the rest of B3ta it seems...) and what seem like absolute great lines tend to fall quite flat.

I'm also usually incapable of detecting when women are in to me too; unless they are being quite obvious about it.
I finally realised my last (now ex) girlfriend was interested when she smiled at my rather bad joke (I was nervous ok!) prompting me to kiss her. To be honest I didn't realise I was until I did - yay subconscious.
(Thu 18th Feb 2010, 20:08, More)