» Workplace Boredom

Pranking
This all started off when i joined my current employer.After about 2 months i started to get the hatred of two directors that my collegue and friend had.They could not direct a car down a one way street,One has one eye and is nearly deaf and the other well lets face it hes the same as lurch out of the adams family

They both use the same printer which we dont,So the usual game of who can fuk it up just as there printing started.They would come in load there paper bills into the printer and walk into the other office to press the print button.The game was to run over and change the font type and settings before it started printing ,this became to easy for us.Next it was glue the paper together as it was in a roll.

There we were sat opposite to each other mongy loads the paper and walks back into the office.Cue laughter as its a ticking time bomb,Starts printing grrrrrrrrrr then a snap.Christ its broke this started laughter that came with tears as mongy was confused,Cue his mongy mate one eye run in.Never before have you seen to men stare at a printer for so long till one eye says "someones sabataged this "

This daily boredom ritual of completely making there life hell contined which included my master plan.This was to superglue the roller just before it printed.This nackerd that up so they purchased another. "there the old ribbon type anyways.Next new printer was to get random objects placed into it,We loaded the rear of it with around 1 box of staples ,50 or so paper clips,ciggy and a rubber,a teabag, were all stuck in the printer on a daily basis.When the new one was not printing properly.One eye decided to turn it upside and shake it "incase there was something in there,cue one eye shaking the huge printer,with his man moobs bouncing about " a barrage of objects fell from it.

Many a day was spent with these fucktards master planning and waiting for the prank.Ahhh them were the days !!Sadly hes left the company now so its just me vs them,im still bored as hell.
(Tue 13th Jan 2009, 10:57, More)

» Things we do to fit in

school days
1. Push pops ( what the hell were they all about )

2. Pogs

3. Gob stoppers bigger than your mouth took you a month to finish it.

4. Wearing your school bag so low it was nearly dragging on the floor.

5. Smoking B& H fags from ciggy john’s shop who would sell you a cig for 20p looked like a peado and smelt of wee.

6. How small you could get your tie.

7. Not being a prefect. (I was forced to be one and wear a different coloured jumper “stood out of the crowd and was always there for a beating and the usual verbal abuse”)

8. Hanging about the park.

9. Smoking pot and regularly getting it taken off us by bigger boys.

This is just a small list of the things to do and buy to fit in at my old school. I never quite did looking at it and was always with the mongy kids.My trainers never made me the cool chav I wanted to be. (Referring to the other “school trainer” episode I have posted).
(Thu 15th Jan 2009, 14:41, More)

» Things we do to fit in

school trainers
Well when I was a wee nipper in the hey day of secondary school at the bright age of 13 the rage was trainers. Now not some normal trainers oh no these were nicks.Im sure you 80 kids among us must remember these.

Nike air were all the rage at the time and although I wasn’t from the local chav families that sent there spawn to my school.I just had to have these trainers, i wanted these snide nike air !! (why i will never know )

Well these chavs had this idea along with there kappa jackets and there stained trousers to wear these nicks. They were black and probably from a tramps market somewhere, but I wanted them so much so that I even nagged my mother for weeks to get a pair.

So there I was with my mother on a weekend going down to the local crappy market at the Arndale to purchase these £9.99 trainers to fit in with the chavy cool kids.

To this day I’m still haunted by the reminder of buying these and their fake plastic bubble on the bottom of them, and the black tick that went the other way round. Never again shall I hold my head up high.
(Thu 15th Jan 2009, 14:07, More)

» School Days

fireworks
The build up to bonfire night at school usually happened a month or so before.Little bottle rockets would be screaming off left right and centre at dinner time.Being a large school and having the biggest fields known to man it was quite easily hidden and you could get upto all sorts.

There i was one day playing footie with the usual school bag and coats goal post,that everyone always argue the size of, que me running over to my bag.There it was smoking having a 10 shot candle firework stuffed into it with the 5 years legging it off.I never did get there in time to see my school bag get ripped to shreads by these yobo's.This was a usual occurance not just at me.Them were the days !!!
(Fri 30th Jan 2009, 15:41, More)